I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have an addiction to the energy experience of feeling right or feeling like I have won or that someone thinks or believes that I am right or better than them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have a low self-esteem within this I attempt to 'make myself feel better' by creating conflicts where I can prove my superiority, but within this all that I am doing is feeding a constructs desire for energy that exists as a character in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to seek out and participate in conflicts and arguments in order get the experience of being right or winning because I think/feel that I need to prove to myself that I am strong and can win.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a young child, my life was quite unstable, and thus I have developed a personality and character that uses intellect, knowledge, and argument in order to have a sense of control over myself, my environment, and others to give myself the feeling of stability that I believe I lack.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability does not come from winning an argument with another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only thing I am keeping 'stable' so to speak is the existence of a character/personality/construct that seeks out conflict and argument in order to try and win.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability is here as my physical body, breathing, and it is within physical structures, not energy, and thus I can establish myself in a moment as stable, here, by breathing and letting go of the energy experience and desire for energy experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is by me and others participating in the mind in the pursuit of energy and ignoring what we are doing to physical reality in terms of how we are allowing it/creating it to be structured that is allowing/creating instability within the experiences/lives of so many beings on this planet, and I have placed my focus on trying to win in order to get a sense or feeling of stability instead being stable, breathing, looking at what is not best in my environment as structure that is creating instability in the world that is creating, for example, situations where parents are not able to give their children what they really require, as was the case with my childhood, and thus created the feeling and construct of seeking 'stability' as a feeling within me as a child.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'stability' within the context of the mind/consciousness/energy within only a feeling that I personally have defined as the ability to win arguments through the use of my intellect and knowledge.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word stability within the context of feeling, as stability is the ability to maintain a feeling within myself of power, excitement, security, comfort.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability for it to be best for all, must create an OUTCOME for all that is best equally and within this I see that the word stability can be redefined to a structure that always produces what is best at all times with no whim or chance or bias, where for example a stable money system would be one that ensures that each child, adult, animal, plant, etc always receives what they required in order to exist in their specific form in the optimal way, in the way that supports them contributing to the balance of what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability comes from who I am as the decision to apply myself within the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application in order to change myself to remove that which is not best as who I am as what I have defined as my nature and to thus do the same without in the system to remove those elements that are creating instability in the lives of so many to recreate the system in the image and likeness of true stability which is directing resources, activity, etc to all parts equally according to what they require to exist in the best way at all times.
I commit myself to SHOW that stability is not something that one feels, it is something that one IS through being here, breathing, directing oneself within what is best for all, which in the current context of our system, is walking one's process consistently day by day, to eventually stand clearly in every moment - I realize that in moments I may fall as I walk through the layers of energy characters in my mind-physical, however within this context, stability would be the decision to always get back up, and to not dwell on the failure, but to forgive myself and to stand up and continue applying myself and to look at that which cause the fall, to remove that which is not best and then within that to continue walking in this world, supporting myself, others and standing up within the world in order to bring forth an equal money system to create the stability within money that will allow all to walk their process in stable, consistent manner, and to move the world towards the realization of the equality of Life and thus the establishment of ALL the necessary systems to create stable environment for Life to express itself fully at all times without limitation or fear..
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