Preventing Dysfunction in Children through Effective Parenting part 5

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/feel that my children are in the way of me living the life I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'my life' as something separate from the reality that I currently within and within that to not realize that my purpose is to do what is best in any situation or context that I find myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my purpose in life is something unique to me, separate from others, and determined solely by me in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about wanting to be away from my kids, able to do what I want, and free from the responsibility of giving attention to my kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am not able to focus because I have to constantly divert my attention from what I am wanting to do to paying attention to my kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I really am is free from desires and wants and needs and would be able and willing to stop in any moment and give attention to what is required in the context of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am in a world that is governed by a system that requires everyone to work to survive or at least focus on money in order to maintain a position in the system where one does not have to 'work' for survival but which depends on a lot of other people doing so and thus I do not have to feel guilty about the fact that it is challenging to both survive and give attention to what is best, and yet I see that I have still made excuses because I do spend plenty of time focusing on irrelevant shit that in no way serves what is best, it only serves the system, and which I use to distract myself or entertain myself to feel good rather than using that time to focus on something that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my children as an excuse to not do what is best, blaming them and the context of having to be a parent for why I don't apparently have enough time to focus when if I am self-honest I know that I spend a lot of time doing things that don't matter, and if I were to add all that time up it would represent more than enough time to focus on what is best, which would in this current context represent me creating a situation or environment that would be better for me and my children so that we would have more time to spend together and for me to focus on points of standing up in this world in some capacity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I must focus for long periods of time in order to do something that matters, when I could use short, small amounts of time that would typically use to distract myself in order to figure out what I could logically do next that would tangibly improve my situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define parenting as a sacrifice, which is like a flower feeling like producing fruit and seeds for new plants is a sacrifice, which just shows the extent to which I have defined myself according to the mind instead of life as the physical.