It Is Possible to Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the purpose of my existence is to experience energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I do not change, if I do not stop participating in energy as the starting point of my existence, then I am fucked, and as I would not be worthy of life, because I would show that I cannot be trusted with Life because when given Life, I abuse it and I justify why I should be allowed to continue to abuse it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use feelings of guilt and fear to manipulate myself into not considering the real starting point of my existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify that I do not need to change as there is no real consequence to anything, that this world is not real and that nothing matters, when in fact I know deep down that I do not REALLY FEEL that way, but it is a symptom of me not believing/accepting/considering that it is possible to change, that it is possible to stop participating in the abuse of Life for the experience of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed only those events that are extremely negative, to move me to 'make decisions' from within the starting point of attempting to create a positive experience.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that every major event in my life has been the creation of some negative situation, and within that I have manipulated myself to feel justified within the creation of the positive, when in fact none of this was necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question my starting point of trying to create positive energy experiences for myself, and within that to actually deliberately create negative situations in order to justify the creation of the positive, and within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that this game has been the starting point of my life since the beginning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make situations worse in order for me to justify changing them, instead of just looking at what is not best within a situation and directing it to be best, instead I distracted myself with seeking only the positive as contrast to the negative situation, and within that never taking actual responsibility to really create something better as a solution, and thus always returning to a point of wanting to create a negative in order to justify creating a positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become trapped within cycles of negative/positive creation and within the word trap, to deceive myself into believing that I cannot get out of the trap, and thus within this I see/realize that it is not about 'getting out of the trap' it is simply a matter of stopping participation in both the positive/negative as well as the neutral which I have defined as an absence of positive or negative experience, it is simply about stopping, recapturing the energy that I have allowed to run rampant as my mind as a program of all the information that I accepted and allowed throughout my life to define who I am and have used to justify who I am as the starting point of participating in energy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I do not know anything really about my physical body or physical reality and that I have only ever participated in knowledge and information within my mind that I have used to define who I am and how physical reality works, when in fact all that knowledge and information has always been designed/created from the starting point of myself and others seeking energy as a positive experience of reward and thus all knowledge and information has really just been a form of control to make sure that we never stand equal and one to ourselves as physical bodies and this physical reality to always act in ways that are best for all, and thus within this, I cannot blame anyone else for the problems in this world, even if I can't see how I have directly contributed to them, because all the problems stem from the exact same starting point from which I have lived within myself and this world, and thus through that I have accepted and allowed the world to be the way it is because then I do not have to change.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the only valid knowledge and information is that which support me and others equally to be here, physically, and work with reality in a way that produces results at all times that are best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that, in my mind, I have never and would never consider what is best for all, because the mind is based on energy only and knows nothing about how physical reality works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify myself within not supporting myself to stop as 'my decision' when in reality I am not making any decisions, the mind as a program that only seeks its continued existence is in control and making all the decisions, and it used feelings as positive rewards to prevent me from ever standing up and taking back directive control of the mind and thus stand equal and one within my physical body and using the mind more an an interface with reality as a map of existence to navigate, but instead I have used it as the starting point of my existence, and thus I have just walked blindly through life following the whims of the mind to continue to feed it energy, and then I complain when I experience consequences of this blind pursuit that we are all participating in, but I have never stood up and said "No more!"

I commit myself to stand in all ways and in every action to STOP this game of energy search within myself and to say "No more!" as the proof of my physical actions show that I am no longer accepting and allowing my mind to be in the driver's seat of the body, but to stand equal and one with my body and use the Mind as a GPS, and within this I commit myself to reprogramming the mind as GPS so that the Mind is not based on seeking energy but is simply a map of what exists physically and thus I commit myself to reprogram myself to act in all ways only as what is best and to not allow myself to fall into the trap of seeking energy as reward, and when I fall as may happen from time to time as I learn the extent to which I have automated the reward seeking behavior within myself - to STOP, stand back up, to use writing, self-forgiveness, and self corrective application to remove the dysfunctional behavior patterns and to redirect myself to do what is best.