Anxiety and Fear as Self Sabotage

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up and speaking up for what is best in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being attacked, punished, bullied, shouted at, called names, threatened, physically harmed, or even killed for standing up and speaking up for what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement and ridicule of family and friends for speaking up and standing up for what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that being attacked for standing up and speaking up for what is best is not a valid excuse to not stand up because I realize that the system must defend itself because it is programmed to survive at all costs, and thus the fear that I feel within is a form of self attack to stop me from standing up and speaking up for what is best and to thus give up, but this in itself is a giving in and a self-manipulation to not change for real, because I realize that the inner change is only real when the outer change is manifest equal and one to the inner change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on the opinions of others that are not standing up and speaking up for what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be liked by others, and to not realize that wanting to be liked is a program within myself that is only reinforcing my original starting point of fearing the loss of my choice to pursue happiness and energy experience for myself regardless of the cost to myself as my physical body and this physical existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program my body to produce a feeling of anxiety when someone argues against what I stand for, and that I have not stopped this program, but accepted and allowed it to be natural, not realizing that it is a way in which I have programmed myself to stop myself from challenging the energy-authority within myself that if I were to continue accepting as authority will lead to my eventual end and will keep this world locked into a pattern of abuse and fear as I never would have stood up and adjusted the external system, because to do so, will require that I face criticism, argument, and attack from many levels.

I commit myself to investigating through writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application the ways in which I have programmed my body to respond to anything that would challenge the energy-authority within and/or money authority without by producing feelings of fear and anxiety.

I commit myself to speak up and stand up, despite any and all feelings of fear and anxiety, and I realize that it will be a process to stop all these feelings, and within that I will continue to speak and to stand, and not any more accept and allow a feeling to stop me from doing what is best.