I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the consequences that I see within my life that I know are not best for myself and everyone are here showing me the result of my starting point of who I am and how I am living and thus are an opportunity for reflection for me to change and yet within that I have used these consequences instead as a justification why I cannot change because I must survive, when in fact that which I am attempting to hold onto is the very thing is producing the consequences I am now faced with and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is not about changing the past consequences, but stopping and preventing the creation of more consequence, and that until I stop there is no way I would even be able to address the consequences that are already here.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see/realize that I have been living my life, up to now, attempting to manipulate myself and others to change the past rather, not realizing that in having such a starting point I am in fact recreating the past as my present and future, because I am not changing the starting point from which I am creating, which is the pursuit of happiness in contrast to what I see as the sadness of the present, which is really the past.I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that those/that which challenge my happiness/pursuit of happiness are not the evil ones, but the ones that are in fact supporting me to see the key to stopping the creation of that which is causing my UNhappiness, but instead I have blamed them as the problem, which is a statement of me not wanting to accepting self responsibility for who I am and what I am creating, which is thus what has kept me in cycles of creating that which I really do not want, ultimately, which is fear and death.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the presence of fear within me is indicating my starting point for why/what I am creating/attempting to create, which is really just an attempt to continue my survival as energy, which is not real, and because I know this deep down, I now realize that this is where the fear is coming from, from the desire to protect that which I know is not real, and as this experience of fear is a negative energy, I am attempting to use this to move myself into a positive experience, and thus within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the positive, which cannot last, as it fades will shift me back into a state of fear, and unless I stop, this is all I will ever exist as - fear - because that which I am attempting to create/hold onto/protect in my moments of fear and in response to fear will never be real, because it is the very UNreality of that which I am attempting to create/hold onto which is driving the fear in the first place.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ever question my starting point nature as fear, and instead took my fear for granted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question WHAT exactly it is that fears dying.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear everything being taken, and within that to not question WHAT the nature of that which I believe can be taken is - is it REAL or UNreal?
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within the starting point of fearing everything/anything being taken from me, I have manifested myself as the very embodiment/expression of TAKING only, taking out of fear, and thus I am not really living, not really giving, and thus because I am TAKING only - what I will receive in EQUAL MEASURE is TAKING in the absolute sense as I have taken that which gives me Life and not allowed that which gives Life to all to be given to all equally - and I have manifested every excuse possible to allow myself to blame this fact on everything/anything but ME to the point where I have accepted and allowed, participated in and benefited from, a system of distribution that creates immense suffering for most all life on earth and in this, because it at least allows me to survive temporarily, I never question or stand up within it to change it, which shows my shortsightedness as well as my starting point of not really caring about anything real, because no one survives existence currently, no one survives death that is not real, because that is the nature of not being real, and thus within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only way to stop fear is to - STOP FEAR - to stop attempting to take and secure my existence as feeling good as feeling positive as getting energy for myself and rather STOP and ask myself, if I were REAL what would I be doing, what would I be doing with this temporary existence that I have, if there were no fear - if I KNEW that no matter what, I am real, and that only then would I be able to ACT within the starting point of that which is real and that unless I give up all illusions of something MORE and ACT AS IF I am already complete, not lacking, knowing that the only thing that matters is the EFFECT I have in reality in taking back that which I have allowed to be projected from the physical as my symbolic self, bringing myself back to earth, and adjusting the systems that exist here to distribute what is here to all equally - unless I become the solution within/as my self - the living example, then I will in fact never be real and thus all I would ever experience, eternally is fear and death - and thus I forgive myself that I have never stopped before, and that I have used this never having stopped before as a justification to not stop now, in this Life, and I forgive myself that I have allowed any excuse whatsoever to not stop once and for all and allow myself to find out what is beyond fear, what is real, what is Here, and to no longer search for something more, but to simply be Here and discover what is Here, and allow myself to stand equal to and one with all that is here and let go of the need to be special or important, understanding that those things have no meaning or value in the context of having let go of fear as a starting point for existing.
I commit myself to stopping fear in all its facets, both within myself and without as the system that automatically creates reasons for fear in the form of unequal distribution of what is required to function and exist as Life in all its various forms as how Life is currently manifested here as the physical reality.
I commit myself to - through writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application - identify and remove all fear from within me, to breath by breath check the movement within me as energy, feeling, and thought, and to stop participation within each knowing that all energy movement within me as thought and feeling is coming from the starting point of fear, to motivate me to move in response to fear to continue the cycles of negative to positive to negative ad infinitum, and thus I commit myself to stop the cycles of creation of energy and bring back that which I have allowed as energy projection within and as my self as personality and relationship, to bring it back to self and ground that and thus re-learn how to live and act in the world from the starting point of how to create a living system on earth that supports and allows each of us to practically give life to each other - to remove any reason and excuse for fear, and to never give in to fear, but to stop it, question it, see where I am still holding on to a desire to exist as energy and use the tools that I have here to remove it and realign myself to live here unconditionally even while the system is still conditional - to show and prove that there is no valid excuse and that this can be done and to thus support others to do the same until this is done and fear has no place whatsoever in existence any more.
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