Fear of Survival as the Basis of Reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all feelings of love and joy are always in contrast with fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have participated in the idea and feeling of love in order to cover up the basic fact that my and everyone's entire existence is based on fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the constant, continuous fear in everyone at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that everyone, no matter where they are or who they are with is always in fear as a basic point of reality, and that while it is possible to cover up the feeling of fear at times through creating experiences of happiness and fun for example, these are really nothing more than distractions, because no matter what experiences I or anyone create to escape the feeling of fear, fear is still the basis of reality, because no one is able to exist without competing for survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that the system we live in is busy collapsing in on itself, like a supergiant star that has used up all of its fuel and is now collapsing on the weight of its own gravity, the system we live in is based on competition, which is always constantly separating and dividing people from each other and this cannot last forever, because in order for even one person to be left at the top, everyone else is left in fear of each other and thus no real cooperation or love is existing, because noone trusts each other at any level - not spouses, not parent and child, not brother and sister, not business partners, no one, because at the end of the day, everyone is a competitor to one' s self in a system based on competition for survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy in to the game of competition for survival, even directly justifying it at times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let things get this bad on the earth in order to wake up and realize and see the consequence of my original decision to compete with myself for energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to demonize negativity and to place positivity on a pedestal, when in reality the only thing that exists fundamentally at the moment is negativity, which is why negativity seems to come so easily and positivity seems to require lots of work to create and maintain and only lasts for a fleeting moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really care about my own existence fundamentally, certainly not enough to really question the nature of reality as it is currently existing and what I have accepted and allowed within myself as who I am and what I am willing to participate or allow to even exist without my direct participation, meanwhile just looking out for my own experience, pretending and lying to myself that experience is of any value in itself, especially in spite of things being so dire in reality for so many.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about living in a first world country, and to allow this feeling of guilt to manipulate me into not changing, when it is my responsibility to change so that there is no division between first and second or third world, because this is all one world, and the division lines are not real, and it is only a matter of time before everyone is on the losing end of a system that is competitive by nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing positivity, love, feeling good, when in fact I don't have these things anyway, and that is because they are not ensured for everyone, and thus if they are not, then I am always in fear of not having them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to fear, to buy into it, to believe that by listening to it that I can save myself somehow, when the only thing that can save me or anyone is to do what is best and to not stop until the systems that automate the distribution of basic needs, for a start, are giving to all what they need.

I commit myself to stop fear within myself.

I commit myself to use writing and self forgiveness to root out the fear within me, to find the structures that keep me in fear, to stop participating in the positive which creates the fear of loss to further create more positive, and to investigate until I get to the bottom of how I have instilled fear within me as a base motivator and automated point within me that is so far keeping me existing only as a mind seeking energy without regard for Life.

I commit myself to utilize the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective action to eliminate fear within myself, to prove that fear is irrelevant, that fear is only something that holds us back from creating a world that is best for all, and that there is no excuse or reason to listen to fear or to manipulate oneself with fear, and to be a living example to others that stopping fear is not only possible, but that it is best.