I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember how I developed my secret mind and to within this form and participate in a feeling of being overwhelmed with the complex nature of the backchat and automatic thought/feeling processes that occur as my mind.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within feeling overwhelmed as to the complex nature of the automatic feelings/thoughts that occur within and as my mind to feel despondent in that the task of deconstructing my mind as the automated system of thoughts, feelings, judgments, etc when in fact this is an excuse to continue participating in the mind, and within this I realize that the only thing required is self-honest self-forgiveness and corrective application, and that whatever my mind presents as thoughts, feelings, comparisons, judgments, fears, etc is what is to be forgiven.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not deserve forgiveness, as this is an indicator of blame and self-judgment, as well as expecting something outside of myself to forgive me, when in fact all that is required is that I am self-honest in forgiving myself, as the directive will to change and to no longer participate in that which is not best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek approval from others as a form of reward as feedback instead of my own self-honesty within whether I am participating in my mind or whether I am Here breathing, forgiving myself, and changing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be accepted by others when real acceptance is of self, as self sees what is necessary to be changed within self, self forgives self, self changes and then self accepts self as having changed based on the self honest assessment of how one now interacts in the physical world, and that one has stopped participation in what self was accepting and allowing self to participate in previously that was not best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to another in my mind as to whether I or they are walking their process more effectively, when in fact the only relevant point is whether I am participating in my mind or whether I am breathing and taking responsibility for ME.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to hide within anger and judgment when in fact the anger is within me, and therefore the judgment is of ME.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough to be in the company of others as an equal, Here, but that I must constantly cause conflict and challenge others, when I have applied this point of challenging myself absolutely, and thus I have projected onto others the desire for myself to change, but within this only participating in judgment of others which is really judgment of self, and thus I realize that what I see in another is really just what I am doing or participating in within myself by its very nature - if I judge another for something, then I am in fact in my mind, and thus whatever I am judging in another is not valid, because I am not Here in that moment, I am in my mind, and thus fundamentally equal to whatever I am judging in another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be innocent in my interactions with others, to want to stop causing conflict, to desire to be the best that I can within the context of interacting with others, as within this I realize this this desire is an energetic experience, and it is a point of focus that I am allowing to stand in the way of changing myself and simply being that which is best as who I know I am capable of being, and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am able to change, that I am able to stand within another as an equal and within that to support myself first to change, to not go into automatic conflict as projecting judgment outside of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for who I am, which is an abdication of self-responsibility, and although I don't remember the detail of how I created myself as who I am, I am deciding Here that I am taking self-responsibility, no matter how arduous or challenging a task that might be to walk back through everything I have accepted and allowed within and as who I am and how I exist, because from what I can now see, there is no other option, as I have already seen the consequence of choosing the 'other way' which is to live in complete isolation, in a personal hell of constant judgment, criticism, conflict, anxiety, and fear and I know everyone is either experiencing this as well or suppressing it, and although this state of existence saddens me, I realize that even the sadness is simply a consequence and that the sadness is not necessary because I can change, I will change, and I am changing, and within that I will do whatever I can to support others to do the same, even if it is simply by my example.
I commit myself to stand and walk this process of writing, self-forgiveness, and corrective application for myself, because I have seen the consequence of not doing so, and I am stating that I am Here to change myself and to be that which is best for all in all ways for eternity, even if this process means I have to give up all knowledge and information as to who I believe I am and even if it means that I will face my fears, my self judgments, and pain for standing up within myself and this world, because this is the best thing to do, there is no other choice, and any point of choice is an illusion.
I commit myself to see through and to walk through every and all illusions that I have created within myself, accepted and allowed in this world, and every point of choice that comes up within me as an excuse to not change, I commit myself to breathe, to forgive myself, and to change, no matter what.
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