The Pursuit of Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I give up my own self interest then it is not possible to be happy or for happiness to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the starting point of not wanting to give up my self interest is fear, and thus that is what I am equal to = FEAR and thus how can I ever be truly happy when I am equal to fear?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thoroughly convince myself that I have a right to create my own happiness as does everyone else, when in fact I live in a world where I am highly dependent upon others and thus it is not possible to create happiness within myself while ignoring others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that happiness is a feeling inside only, when it is in fact a condition of existence where all my needs and wants are met and where I am totally free of fear of consequence because there is nothing to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that freedom is something that exists in my head or in my emotions only when it is a physical condition where one is not subject to physical consequences that are not best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest within myself about what happiness really is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that 'individual happiness in the head' is what a slave master would convince a slave to focus on so that the slave would not revolt against the physical conditions that the slave is in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, as society, to be repulsed by the idea of slavery in history as taught in the textbooks, and to think that it would be stupid to suggest that the slaves on a plantation should just be happy regardless of their circumstances, and yet not apply that same logic equally to myself and the world currently, where I would justify others currently existing today being in conditions of poverty, for example, that they should just focus inwardly on happiness and that that is their right to choose or not choose, although I would not have applied that same logic to the slaves in the history books, because feeling sorry for those slaves allows me to pretend to be a good person, but facing the real slavery that exists in this world due to the individual pursuit of happiness would require ME in real time to change and let go of my self-interest, but I wouldn't because I had accepted and allowed myself to become equal to justification of slavery as that is in fact what I am doing, because I have become a slave to the pursuit of self-interest at all costs, of which the cost is death, equally for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on the satisfaction of a character's desire for energy within myself instead of the expression of the Life Force that I am/have received from the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define happiness as an experience, instead of as the free expression of the Life Force that is in all equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the Life Force in all equally as the most important thing that exists, and rather place value on anything but, so that I can justify my own pursuit of happiness as the experience of energy due to the conflict created by placing reality in separation from itself, which is thus enslaving the real Life Force to an existence of expression of conflict and consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that all people, all forms, are not in fact equal, which is why it is possible for one person to gain power over another, and that unless we as humanity, look past the real illusion of form and recognize the equality of Life Force in all, and create a system that supports that equally in all, we will never create and thus experience true equality as what is best for all, because we are all One in fact and what I do to another and what I allow to be done to another is what will be done unto me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that unless the I in happIness change to consider the happiness in all as equally important - happiness will never be real for anyone, including myself, and thus I would have enslaved myself to an eternal pursuit of something I can never have or attain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the pursuit of something I cannot attain is what I have created for myself to never be real, because I have never cared about being real, because I rejected what is real, and now I see the consequence of such a decision, and thus I now see why I should change and I now see that change starts with the recognition of what is real and the acceptance of who I am as valuing what is real as the Equal Life that is present within all and recreating myself within the image and likeness of that acceptance so that who/how I am within and who/how I am without reflects this realization in all ways.

I commit myself to find the Life Force within me and learn to communicate with and as it.

I commit myself to walk the way to free the Life Force within me and within all as equals.

I commit myself to stand up as the Life Force within me and as me in full expression and to recognize and speak to and inspire others to recognize and stand equal to the Life Force as the directive principle of self and thus recreate this world in the image and likeness of the Life Force that is in each of us equally.