The Manipulation to Fulfill Desire Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a pattern from a young age of wanting to manipulate others in order to create an experience that I have placed energy into as desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as an impediment or a stepping stone to fulfilling my desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a moment where, having built up a desire for something, and then seeing that it is not best to fulfill it, to believe that I am not able to stop and let it go, that I MUST do whatever it takes to fulfill that desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is a character that speaks through my mind that is attempting to get energy for itself to continue existing as a construct and that if it doesn't then it experiences a form of dying, which I experience and believe to be me dying in a certain sense, but in reality, when I breathe, let it go, it eventually passes and I am still here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad, manipulative person, when the reality is that I have just given authority to a program of attempting to manipulate my environment and others in order to fulfill a desire, and thus I am not bad or manipulative inherently, because I can forgive myself and stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember when/how I developed the character of manipulating others to fulfill a desire, and to within that believe that I can't possibly get to the root of it in order to stop it, when all that is required is self-honesty, self-forgiveness for what I CAN see at the moment and the willingness to breathe through and stop in moments when it comes up, and to further deconstruct the pattern through writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the world and others can change and I can still hold onto my character of wanting to manipulate and fulfill desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am physical body, where words have become flesh, and thus the words and sounds and energy and patterns that I have accepted over time have come to direct me and thus I realize now that it will take time to stop these patterns and that it may get intense from time to time, but this is not a reason to stop or give up, because it may just be that it gets intense before I transcend a pattern.

I commit myself to breathe and not participate in the character of wanting to manipulate others in order to create an experience to fulfill a desire, to let go, in those moments, of the desire - to allow myself to find out and see who I am beyond the desire and the fulfillment of desire - to discover who I am without desire just being here looking at what is best.

I commit myself to further investigate and deconstruct this character of manipulation to fulfill a desire through writing, self forgiveness, and self commitment to change/stop the patterns.