Memory Transfer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent to which parents impose their memories onto their children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent and degree to which parents want their children to follow in their footsteps, even though parents are not happy with their lives deep down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to transfer my memories to my child and essentially clone myself into and as another being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that copying myself is giving life and creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to transfer fear to my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent to which I am spiteful towards my child despite how I might think of myself as loving, because I am spiteful in unconscious and automatic ways, just as I am spiteful towards myself and all others and life in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am around my child, they are picking up everything I say and do and even think and feel automatically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is ok to feel depressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am depressed I am in fact abusing my child as well as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I attempt to impose memories on my child, I am in fact abusing their innocence and degrading their ability to learn and live in new, profound ways, I am dooming them to simply repeat the past - this is not life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I don't have to impose my memories onto my child, but that if I do not direct myself and forgive myself effectively, then this will happen automatically anyway, and thus it is not acceptable to engage in wishful thinking, but rather the point is to direct myself within my process of self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I commit myself to support myself to stop in those moments when I go into depression, to realize that this is in fact a form of terrorism, and not acceptable and that it is not a solution - and thus to stop, to breathe, to refocus on being here and walking my process - to stand up in that moment and not accept less than who I really am and could be.

I commit myself to continue the process of forgiving all weakness that hold me back from being here and standing as life and that would otherwise impose the past onto reality and onto my children automatically.