Course Correction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the depth to which I can get caught up in thinking about something to the point where I convince myself of a reality that may or may not exist in fact, but is not based on self-honest assessment, but based on a conviction created through repetition of thoughts and feelings until the reality that I imagine is so in fact at least in terms of my being convinced, but that does not mean it is actually so in fact in actual physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and not stop within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for getting caught up in my thoughts, however that does not excuse me from continuing to allow myself to do so, but I realize that judging myself is just another form of thinking and does not solve the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make assumptions about others based on little bits of information intertwined with my own thinking process and subject to the points in my subconscious and unconscious mind that are still aligned within the starting point of self-interest and thus creating an entire scenario in my head from which I begin acting and speaking and in that state not being willing to consider that I am in a possession of thinking instead of being here, breathing, and letting go of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are coming up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place more value on 'changing the world' than 'changing myself' - not considering fully as really living the point, that changing myself IS changing the world - that does not mean that the outer world does not have to change, but if I am only changing the world externally, but I am still allowing thinking, feeling, and emotion to guide me, then I am not really changing internally in those moments, because I am only building up energy and giving more power to my mind, which would imply that I am not in fact changing, and thus how can the world be changing - because it is easy in that state to convince myself, through thinking, that the world is changing, however if it is something that is being imposed despite myself changing, then what am I participating in? Changing the world? or a character of someone who believes they are changing the world?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of despair that I have once again been caught up in my mind, though I realize that this is a process of making mistakes from time to time, falling down, and standing up, and thus I realize that the point is not to participate in feelings or thoughts or emotions of despair or giving up or feeling sad, but to breathe, and to let it pass, and to stand up, and to realign myself, firstly and primarily within, as why I am really here and who I really am beyond thinking, feeling, and emotion, as to standing up withing myself as Life, which even though I don't really, fully understand, I know deep down is really who I am and I know that it is possible to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is a place for having a group to support within openness and self-honesty that supports each one within where they are at, and is not about forcing another to move but supporting and sharing through example when necessary, and that this is in fact needed in the world, because in any other context, this would cause a person to lose in the system, and thus this type of openness is not possible in the context of the current system, and thus having this space for individuals to walk and share and not fear judgment of others or fear being forced into walking one path versus another is of utmost value and must be respected and honored as it is a unique expression in this world, and thus it is not the place to bring in competition, sales, marketing, business, manipulation, control - and though, in self honesty, these things are required in the business world, which is why you see it at all levels in the major corporations that have any level of influence in the world, it is not acceptable to bring it into a group dynamic based on openness, sharing of one's process, and the walking of one's individual process to align within the starting point of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to walking this process, to checking myself when I am thinking, feeling, participating in emotions, to really become aware within myself when there is energy moving, to not make an excuse about it and justify, which is really just fear of loss, and I realize that when I am fearing to lose something, that is the indicator that I am not really here, standing as who I really am, but rather just supporting the existence of a character through thinking, feeling, and emotions and when I go into a feeling of either self-defense or attack, that it is an indicator that I have moved beyond the fear of loss into trying to protect or force something.

I commit myself to show to myself that I can both simulaneously walk this process FOR MYSELF to change my inner while at the same time walking my process in the outer - standing as a point within business to show that business can be done from a different starting point, yet remaining self-honest about what is required to be effective as a business IN THIS SYSTEM, while moving towards the point of what is best for all.

I commit myself to show that in the business world, self-honesty is realizing that the system is competitive, and if I do not push my business forward, a business based on a product that is best for all, that will support the world to move towards a system that is best for all, then someone else will use the system to keep everything the same which means things will only get worse in this world.

I commit myself to show that while one can focus on self primarily, one still has to do something in this world as 'work' or 'labor' in order to survive and provide financing to projects that would be either best for all or moving things towards what is best for all, and thus one choice that a person could make is to work in a business, such as TechnoTutor, where one can both create financial freedom for themselves and support the creation of an education system that would support many people to increase their processing speed and walk this process of self change more effectively, though one must understand that walking in the business world requires self-honesty about how it actually works and what is required to be effective in business, thus it is not for everyone, nor is everyone needed to make it work, because currently only 1% (or less) really have any direct influence on the masses, and so within the context of TechnoTutor, or even just business that moves the world closer to what is best for all in terms of adjusting the system as economic system and education system, for example, only a new 1% is required.

I commit myself to show that one can both walk as an individual sharing one's process and supporting others in that context, and if one chooses, one can also walk within the system in terms of creating money and developing the skills required to have more influence in the system while also creating a network in that context to be able to eventually stand as a network in the system (which is how the current 1% function, just that their network's implicit purpose is to not change the system so that the 1% remain the 1% instead of adjusting the system to create the conditions where all are supported to have what they need and alleviate all fear of survival, instead of using it to control to maintain a position of superiority in the system).