The "I am Special" Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a feeling of being special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character around feeling/being special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the special person character, seek out ways in which to prove and validate to myself that I am special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that no one goes through the challenges that I do, and that within this, my challenges make me special, not realizing that everyone goes through massive challenges and hardships and faces points where they feel that they are lost or without purpose, even if it is at a deep level and they cover it up through coping mechanisms, as I have done from time to time myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the desire to be special is coming from the fear of not existing, not being real, and exists on the in the context of separation, and thus the only way for myself to have a feeling of being special is to create conflict with others in order to have something to be special within/as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation of being special from others and wanting to create conflict in order to prove my specialness.

I forgive myself that I have, within the special person character, created an idea of myself as always being persecuted or attacked or misunderstood, when behind the character is really just fear of not being good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that 'being good enough' or not is within the context of polarity and separation and stems from the fear of loss, the fear of facing death and being judged and thus not being able to exist any longer or not deserving to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not deserving to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question what is means to deserve to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if others agree that I deserve to exist, then I do, when in reality it is who I am that matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is undeserving of life and existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should have a right to exist regardless of who I am or what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without harming myself or another and that who I am is harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about the extent to which I have allowed who I am and what I do to be automated within the context of a system of separation that always produces conflict at some level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was born into a system of conflict and that I am responsible, at the very least, for continuing to accept and allow this system to continue as is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncertain about how to exist in a system that is based on survival and conflict while also changing myself to live and express as what is always best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want another to validate who I am and what I do so that I will be certain that who I am and what I do is best, believing that self honesty is not possible for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to be honest with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to not be honest with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge self honesty and instead believe that honesty is based on a feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for doing what is self honestly best within my current circumstances - to judge myself for those parts of myself that are still undirected, and to believe that it is not possible to move forward within doing what is best, even while within the context of still having many parts/aspects within myself that are automated in ways that are not best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as not being able to influence or affect reality or the system, as a way to not focus on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK about others and compare myself to them, in order to get a feeling as validation that what I am doing is best, which is really just a way to lie to myself in order to continue participating in feelings and thoughts and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that judging others as less than or better than is critical to the existence of the special person character that I have created within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the special person character doesn't care whether conflict is generated that harms, because as long as the character receives energy, then the character can stay alive, and it will use conflict generated and manipulate it to provide 'evidence' of the specialness - the character is not interested in what is best for all, only continuing to exist.

I commit myself to continue to investigate and uncover the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and character patterns that I have automated within me to create conflict unnecessarily from the starting point of wanting to feel/be/be recognized as special.

I commit myself to remove this character that seeks to be special and stop the patterns within myself that are creating conflict in order to generate energy for the character to exist.