Waiting Until You Are Ready

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear of making mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking on more responsibility because I might make a mistake and cause damage to myself or others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am in a position of responsibility for others that I will just fuck it up.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I do nothing, then the systems in this world are already going to continue fucking up the lives of humans, children especially, animals, plants, the environment, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the attempt to take on more responsibility is in itself an opportunity to face the limitations, beliefs, thoughts, character patterns, excuses, fears, etc that are within me which have been keeping me in a pre-programmed life path.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to stay in my pre-programmed life path.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must prove myself to others before I can stand up and speak up about how this world could in fact change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within standing up and speaking up, this act is totally outside of the pre-programming that I was 'given' from a young age, and that in doing so I will face a lot of reactions from others as well as have to walk through the fears that exist within me and thus it is a process in itself that will support me to change within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I may not have another chance to be here on earth and thus, it is not about being afraid of not having another change, but rather not allowing myself the excuse that if I don't give my full effort that it doesn't really matter anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that given the option of just keeping to myself or standing up and taking on more responsibility, this is the statement of who I am beyond just the automatic decision process of consciousness - and yes, I realize that even within this point there are still points I have to walk through as self interest and fear and thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc, however I will not allow that as an excuse to push myself to be self-honest, forgive myself and change so that I am able to stand up and support with the creation of a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not ready to stand up, when all that is required is the decision to do so - that doesn't mean I will be ready the moment I decide, however it means that I am clear about what I am here to do, and thus I must direct myself within expanding within my existence, learn how to communicate more effectively, have more influence over the system, learn how to direct others and I realize that this will be a process and yet it is the way to quantify my process of inner change- otherwise what measurement do I have other than am I able to influence others to walk this process and support what is best for all.

I commit myself to continue to expand beyond what I believe I am able to do - to push myself to walk through resistance - to walk through all doubt - to stand up - to be an example to others that it is possible to change and be in a system of limitation and yet still do what is best within that context and to support the group to continue to move together and support as many people as possible to begin the process of self-change and to support those who are willing and able to stand up in the system and begin the process of making the adjustments required so that more and more are supported through systems to re-establish themselves as the directive principle rather than letting the mind run on autopilot which only supports the system to continue as is - realizing that even if the system 'change', that if people do not change then the system cannot last and yet also understanding that it is the system that has the most influence over the survival pressures that are placed on individuals and especially parents that makes it difficult to focus on changing oneself - and yet this is not an excuse, and I commit myself to show that those who are aware of the problem, as I am, have the greatest responsibility to stand up and in are the position to do so if they so choose to walk that point within themselves no matter what.