Preventing Dysfunction in Children through Effective Parenting part 5

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/feel that my children are in the way of me living the life I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'my life' as something separate from the reality that I currently within and within that to not realize that my purpose is to do what is best in any situation or context that I find myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my purpose in life is something unique to me, separate from others, and determined solely by me in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about wanting to be away from my kids, able to do what I want, and free from the responsibility of giving attention to my kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am not able to focus because I have to constantly divert my attention from what I am wanting to do to paying attention to my kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I really am is free from desires and wants and needs and would be able and willing to stop in any moment and give attention to what is required in the context of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am in a world that is governed by a system that requires everyone to work to survive or at least focus on money in order to maintain a position in the system where one does not have to 'work' for survival but which depends on a lot of other people doing so and thus I do not have to feel guilty about the fact that it is challenging to both survive and give attention to what is best, and yet I see that I have still made excuses because I do spend plenty of time focusing on irrelevant shit that in no way serves what is best, it only serves the system, and which I use to distract myself or entertain myself to feel good rather than using that time to focus on something that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my children as an excuse to not do what is best, blaming them and the context of having to be a parent for why I don't apparently have enough time to focus when if I am self-honest I know that I spend a lot of time doing things that don't matter, and if I were to add all that time up it would represent more than enough time to focus on what is best, which would in this current context represent me creating a situation or environment that would be better for me and my children so that we would have more time to spend together and for me to focus on points of standing up in this world in some capacity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I must focus for long periods of time in order to do something that matters, when I could use short, small amounts of time that would typically use to distract myself in order to figure out what I could logically do next that would tangibly improve my situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define parenting as a sacrifice, which is like a flower feeling like producing fruit and seeds for new plants is a sacrifice, which just shows the extent to which I have defined myself according to the mind instead of life as the physical.

Preventing Dysfunction in Children through Effective Parenting part 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is hard to educate a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only 'experts' certified by the system are qualified to educate a child, when the evidence that the experts are unqualified is clear because most if not all children end up with some form of dysfunction even after years and years of education within a system designed by the so-called experts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a child is really just a copy of the parents and the environment in the first 3-7 years of their life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a child should have at least one parent with them at all times until their vocabulary is developed to a point where the child can reason effectively and is no longer simply accepting what adults say in their environment by default.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question the influences on children that our system and society accepts as normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a parent who is stressed around their child will create a dysfunctional child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a parent who is frustrated and angry around their child will create a dysfunctional child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a parent who is impatient with their child will create a dysfunctional child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a child creates themselves or that God creates a child, when the evidence is clear that the child is formed from DNA - which is accumulated memories of those that have gone before the child - the parents vocabularies/education levels, and the environment that the child is conceived in, that the pregnant mother is in, and that the child is in from birth, as well as the nutrition that is given or not given to the child in the formative years (the first 7 years).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that very little education takes place in school or after the first 7 years of a child's life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a child must be special in order to learn everything they need to learn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really investigate what a child really is and what they are really capable of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto the child that they cannot understand what an adult understands, because they are inferior, when it is simply a matter of not yet having the vocabulary and context to understand, but this can be developed with patience and care by the parent or parents and can be developed much rapidly than most people think is possible, but most people do not take full responsibility for their child's education, leaving the vast majority to the 'expert's - even those who homeschool still use the curriculum created by 'experts' who do not have the evidence that it produces a child with 'superior' ability.

I commit myself to show parents that they can support their child to be orders of magnitude more effective than the parent realizes.

I commit myself to support my children to develop effective communication abilities, reasoning abilities, and an honor and respect of the equality of life in all and to document as much of it as practically possible so that others can see that it is possible and will have no excuse to not do the same.

I commit myself to prove, through myself, my children, and any and all who have the willingness to walk with me, that a child can be much more than what most realize, believe, or accept, and that a child can in fact become a human being who cares about others for real and has the skills and abilities to stand effectively in this world and contribute in a way that is best for all.

Preventing Dysfunction in Children through Effective Parenting part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my child to be better than others from the perspective of accepting the system as is, and wanting my child to be the best competitor in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my child to be exceptional at something or many things in order that I may receive recognition as a great parent and as an exceptional person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my child is another being and not an object for me to satisfy a desire for acceptance, recognition, or praise from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the best form of recognition is from my self when I see that I have supported my child to be the best possible within the context of what is best for all and that therefore I have done my best and thus I am self satisfied and self recognized because I SEE the reflection of my effort and application and patience to do what is best for my child reflected in their development.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I seek recognition from others because I do not recognize the equality of Life in all and thus in my self and my child equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my child to love me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and believe that I must control my child in order to ensure that they love me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that love is not something I feel but something that I give, and thus it is my responsibility as a parent to support my child in the best possible way, and that is real giving and thus real love, and thus if I support my child effectively and do what I practically can to ensure that this world is a place that is best for all, I trust that my child will recognize that and would be grateful, because I know I would if the roles were reversed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my child not taking care of me when I grow old.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control and believe that I must control my child so that they will end up taking care of me when I am older, when the reality is that if I were to support my child to develop in the best possible way, then they would be in a position to support me if something were to happen when I am old where I cannot take care of myself and they would see the value in it because I have shown them that I was willing to do the same, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the reason I would not be taken care of when I am old, whether I have children or not, is because we have accepted and allowed and continued to accept and allow our world to be run by a system that is not best and thus creates consequences where those who cannot take care of themselves are left to suffer unless they can enslave another through money or guilt to take care of them, and thus I see that I must do whatever I practically can to ensure that this world system is changed so that all are taken care of according to what they need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is a valid excuse to not support my child to be the best in the best possible context (what is best for all) because that was not done for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a parent I am the creator of the future of this world depending on my starting point as to how I support my children and what I do to change the system which would either create or alleviate survival pressures which would influence how children are raised and developed.

Preventing Dysfunction in Children through Effective Parenting part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my child will not come to understand things on their own, generally speaking, because they are not born into this world with an ability to speak or think, that is something they learn from their parents and/or those in their environment from a young age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is not my responsibility as a parent to explain and show to my child how reality works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I do not know how reality works that I cannot support my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my education as a child was not effective and did not prepare me to support a child of my own effectively and thus I must rebuild my understanding of reality, and this will take time, at least 7 years, because that is how long it took for me to build an understanding (albeit ineffectively) of reality as child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that parenting is less about 'how' and more about 'who' meaning that as a parent, I cannot impose something on my child that I am not, because they will learn from who I am more than they will learn from what I say that is in contradiction with who I am and how I behave and what I say in the moments where I am speaking and acting automatically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that unless I rebuild my vocabulary from the ground up, I will influence my child with bias, incorrect definitions of words, and behavioral patterns that are not best, and thus if I am seeing behavioral patterns in my child that are not best, I must first check to see where I have accepted and allowed such a pattern within and address that before I will be able to effectively direct my child, and if I do not have children yet, then this is something I must do BEFORE I have children in order to prevent consequences that are much more difficult to change AFTER THE FACT.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I see behavior in my children that I cannot understand where it is coming from, I now understand that it is either coming from, my influence directly (in other words, something I said or did), from my DNA/memories (something that is within me or past generations that I transferred genetically), from another person in their environment, from an external influence like TV or the internet or an advertisement, or from the environment itself from the perspective of the system we live in creating stress for example in the body of the mother which would create stress/survival patterns in the developing fetus, or from an expectation that is being placed on them to behave within which they do not understand clearly what is expected, why they should act in a certain way, and/or do not have the vocabulary yet to either understand or express themselves in the expected way. In other words, the child comes into this world innocent and is influenced in many different ways to become the child I am now seeing that is behaving in a certain way, and thus it is not the child as who they are that is the issue, it is the influences, and thus I must stop in those moments when I get frustrated at their behavior and really look to see where is the influence that is creating this behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to punish and control my child's behavior as a quick fix instead of doing the investigation necessary to really understand where the behavior is coming from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/expect my child to just do what I tell them to rather than take the time and effort to explain things in as much detail as possible so the child understands clearly what I am saying and has as much context as possible to really process what I am asking them to do or not do and why it is best or not best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a parent to believe that I just have to get my child to survive long enough to leave the house and then they will be ok, when in reality it is the first 7 years and the influences and information that is programmed into the child that will determine what happens to them, what position they achieve in the system, and their emotional stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that children are programmable, and that just because I don't understand all the influences and how they have created my child as they are, that does not mean that a child is not programmed, it just means I don't see all the details, so it just looks like a child is born and then magically becomes who they are, but that is not how it works, and that is not how it worked for me, I was influenced to become the person I am today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the product of my parents and my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I do not investigate all the points where I act within self interest, then I am going to destroy my child's innocence and cause them to become someone I hate, even though I will make myself feel love towards them, it will always be an experience of swinging back and forth between the 2 extremes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that my responsibility as a parent is to develop my child to express themselves as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have defined Life as survival, and thus I must begin the process of questioning the value of living only to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is nothing more than survival in this world other than experiencing temporary happiness, but when I am honest with myself I realize that I spend the vast majority of my life trying to survive and only fleeting moments of experiencing happy feelings, and thus what is the point of that?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a parent, I have the opportunity to influence another being in a way that would make the world a better place for all, and thus I have a great responsibility to change myself to be able to support another person from the very beginning, or to correct the points where I didn't direct things effectively from the beginning, and that this is the real purpose of being a parent, not just to get my child to survive until adulthood.

to be continued...

Preventing Dysfunction in Children through Effective Parenting part 1

See this Facebook post: Communicating with a 2 year old in the toy aisle and this Facebook post: communicating with a 2 year old before shopping for context.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a parent, fear my child throwing a tantrum in a store to beg me to buy something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that, as a parent, my child is influenced by many things, especially if I am not specific with what I expose my child to, and thus when I take them to a store, depending on the type of store, the store is set up to activate desires within the child based on imagery and adverts that the child has seen previously or based on memories that I transferred to my child through DNA.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the many times I have thrown a tantrum for not getting my way, both outwardly and inwardly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that unless I prepare my child with an effective vocabulary from a young age, which means that I must prepare my own vocabulary to be effective, then I will not be able to communicate with my child what the expectations are when going into a store.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I prepare my child effectively before going to a store, then the chances of my child throwing a tantrum to get me to buy something are reduced considerably.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a child doesn't just 'throw a tantrum' meaning that it is not just an isolated incident, it is a behavior based on the totality of who the child is, what they know, what influences have been imprinted in them, and the totality of how I have interacted with them, and the environment they have grown up in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize all of the times that I have been impatient within my interactions with my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be concerned with what other people will think of me as a parent and a person if my child cries, or begs, or whines, or throws a fit or tantrum.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every time I react or change my decision based on my child crying, begging, whining, etc it shows that I can be manipulated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every time I yell at or hit my child out of a reaction, it teaches them that I cannot be trusted and that they should fear me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry towards my child when they cry, hit, whine, beg, scream, whimper, or throw a fit or tantrum.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about making mistakes with my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about not being the best example of a living being for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have participated in wanting to buy something out of the energy I would get from possessing it, owning it, playing with it, showing it off, or from the image I want to fulfill of having it in my life and experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish my child for something that exists within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that punishment itself is not the solution to supporting a child to develop as an effective human being, as it only creates fear of punishment, and therefore no real expression or living as creativity can exist when their is fear, and it will only create a dysfunctional character who tries to control themselves and others to prevent the experience of being punished.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that punishment is the only real solution to behavioral dysfunction in a child, that I would not consider to support them to develop their vocabulary, because I did not realize that vocabulary is the means through which they will understand the true consequences for their actions, and understand how reality works so that they can make decisions for themselves rather than having to be controlled by me as the parent, because I won't always be there, and I realize that if I instill fear of punishment and authority in my child, they will always be susceptible to control by others who present themselves as authorities even when they really aren't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge parents who hit their children or yell at them as a form of punishment or behavioral control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear hitting my child out of anger automatically and then regretting it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of regretting hitting my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my child hating me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to give my child the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other parents and feel bad about not being able to give my child what they give to theirs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the money system creates inequality in parenting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my responsibility towards supporting myself and others to be the best parents possible within the context of the limitations of this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my responsibility towards myself, Life, others, all children, to stand up and change the money system so that all are supported equally as what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand and support other parents and show that the best way to support a child to develop effectively in the best way is to develop for myself and my spouse an effective vocabulary and equal and one agreement of support in standing as what is best for all and to support my children to develop an effective vocabulary and equal and one agreement with themselves to always place what is best for all as the starting point of one's life.

Parental Fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being responsible for the creation of another human being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will become my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will do the same to my children that my parents did to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children not being stable and able to direct themselves in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that this world will corrupt my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children hating me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loving my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming attached to my children, and within that fearing that they will be hurt or die and that I will experience the pain of loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children developing a high fever and getting brain damage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to prevent pain for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of watching my children suffer and feeling the pain within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loving one child more than another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children hating each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children becoming spoiled rotten.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children becoming just like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear destroying my children's innocence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children losing their innocence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to protect my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by holding onto fear and accepting fear that I can protect my children from all harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying and not being here for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my children will get into a car accident and be injured or disfigured.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children becoming fat and ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children being too skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear one of my children harming the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children being beautiful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake in front of my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children surpassing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children being autistic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children being uneducated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children being emotionally unstable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children being handicapped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children developing an uncurable disease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being unified with my wife and not being able to raise my children effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children growing up and not being able to survive and earn a living in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my children not knowing how to navigate in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a failure as a parent.

I commit myself to release all fears that I have as a parent, and otherwise, and to walk through all fear, to walk through all resistance to standing up for what is best, to supporting my children with the best possible education to become human beings that recognize and honor the equality of life in all and are able to walk effectively in this world and this system, to be a part of the change of the system, if necessary, for it to become best for all, and to support creation of the solutions to education and parenting so that all parents can prepare their children to be as effective and stable as possible in this world.

Stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go out looking for an argument or to create a conflict in order to prove that I am right or superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I seek out conflict in order to experience the energy within someone arguing with me and either feeling afraid or less than, which is an energy experience, which I then use to go back and argue again in order to win, or I experience the winning energy of superiority and righteousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have an addiction to the energy experience of feeling right or feeling like I have won or that someone thinks or believes that I am right or better than them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have a low self-esteem within this I attempt to 'make myself feel better' by creating conflicts where I can prove my superiority, but within this all that I am doing is feeding a constructs desire for energy that exists as a character in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to seek out and participate in conflicts and arguments in order get the experience of being right or winning because I think/feel that I need to prove to myself that I am strong and can win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a young child, my life was quite unstable, and thus I have developed a personality and character that uses intellect, knowledge, and argument in order to have a sense of control over myself, my environment, and others to give myself the feeling of stability that I believe I lack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability does not come from winning an argument with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only thing I am keeping 'stable' so to speak is the existence of a character/personality/construct that seeks out conflict and argument in order to try and win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability is here as my physical body, breathing, and it is within physical structures, not energy, and thus I can establish myself in a moment as stable, here, by breathing and letting go of the energy experience and desire for energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is by me and others participating in the mind in the pursuit of energy and ignoring what we are doing to physical reality in terms of how we are allowing it/creating it to be structured that is allowing/creating instability within the experiences/lives of so many beings on this planet, and I have placed my focus on trying to win in order to get a sense or feeling of stability instead being stable, breathing, looking at what is not best in my environment as structure that is creating instability in the world that is creating, for example, situations where parents are not able to give their children what they really require, as was the case with my childhood, and thus created the feeling and construct of seeking 'stability' as a feeling within me as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'stability' within the context of the mind/consciousness/energy within only a feeling that I personally have defined as the ability to win arguments through the use of my intellect and knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word stability within the context of feeling, as stability is the ability to maintain a feeling within myself of power, excitement, security, comfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability for it to be best for all, must create an OUTCOME for all that is best equally and within this I see that the word stability can be redefined to a structure that always produces what is best at all times with no whim or chance or bias, where for example a stable money system would be one that ensures that each child, adult, animal, plant, etc always receives what they required in order to exist in their specific form in the optimal way, in the way that supports them contributing to the balance of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stability comes from who I am as the decision to apply myself within the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application in order to change myself to remove that which is not best as who I am as what I have defined as my nature and to thus do the same without in the system to remove those elements that are creating instability in the lives of so many to recreate the system in the image and likeness of true stability which is directing resources, activity, etc to all parts equally according to what they require to exist in the best way at all times.

I commit myself to SHOW that stability is not something that one feels, it is something that one IS through being here, breathing, directing oneself within what is best for all, which in the current context of our system, is walking one's process consistently day by day, to eventually stand clearly in every moment - I realize that in moments I may fall as I walk through the layers of energy characters in my mind-physical, however within this context, stability would be the decision to always get back up, and to not dwell on the failure, but to forgive myself and to stand up and continue applying myself and to look at that which cause the fall, to remove that which is not best and then within that to continue walking in this world, supporting myself, others and standing up within the world in order to bring forth an equal money system to create the stability within money that will allow all to walk their process in stable, consistent manner, and to move the world towards the realization of the equality of Life and thus the establishment of ALL the necessary systems to create stable environment for Life to express itself fully at all times without limitation or fear..