Fire Walls

Sometimes we walk through firewalls. We experience them in various ways, but the common point is that it feels like we are in a state where we just cannot go forward. It can feel like depression, it can feel like irritation, frustration, annoyance, it can feel like outright anger, sometimes it feels like others are out to get you. Many times it feels like FEAR. But what it really is, is a layer of energy as a character that is presenting itself for us to transcend. What is cool is that when we finally direct ourselves to walk through it our lives change and improve. We are able to do things we "couldn't" do before. We are able to see things in a new way. We are able to see new possibilities and we feel renewed. We feel more courageous. We feel more bold. Or we feel more centered, more stable, less reactive.

The weird thing is that the benefits of walking through the firewall are virtually impossible to see before you have walked through it. And the firewall seems so much like it is just who we are, like water to a fish, that we can't see any possibility of getting through it, except from a purely logical perspective. It just FEELS like it's something we have to accept and it can never change.

But it CAN! All we have to do is walk through it. And every fiber of our being will resist. Of course, because it is who we have accepted ourselves to be and layered this into us physically. But if we walk the process and apply the tools we CAN get through it and on the other side is a totally new world.

Of course this firewall is something humanity is facing at a large scale as we face the reality that we don't really 'care' or 'care to' take care of each other and this world in the best way, because it is too 'inconvenient' to change even though the way things are makes very little since. Change is too 'hard' but the reality is the change that is 'hard' is at the individual, personal level, where we justify remaining in our limitations and weaknesses. Whether it is transcending anger or judgment or depression or blame - these points that we see and experience within ourselves are what must be walked through, because those are the points that are holding us back from being able to see change as possible on the larger scale. Yes, the systems that run our world have to change, but so do the systems that run our individual lives, in terms of how we allow thoughts, feelings, and emotions to direct us instead of common sense. And sometimes you just have to stand up within yourself, for yourself, against what you have accepted which feels like this external force that is oppressing us, and we have to say, "I will not be a slave, even to my own creation!"

And then we have to start by writing, forgiving ourselves in writing and aloud, and writing and speaking the self correction.

And even after all of that is done: we still have to stand up and walk through the point physically.

If it is a fear of speaking to someone, we have to just speak.

If it is a fear of doing something, we have to just do it. Obviously we have to determine if this something we fear is practically necessary, but if we 'feel' a fear then likely it is just our mind trying to stop us from doing something we are not preprogrammed to do.

Walk through the water fall of fear. It feels like a wall of fire, but its really nothing more than a waterfall that you can walk right through. It is our dependence on the mind as feelings and thoughts as feedback that is stopping us, not the fire/water wall.

Stand up and move forward. You have been waiting long enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in self-pity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my feelings and emotions are valid feedback as to whether I should do something or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my mind is programmed to limit me from doing what is best, and to remain only in generating energy through conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear and resistance show me the path to walk through.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/remember all the times I walked through fear and how what I feared wasn't really a big deal, and that I always grew from walking through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my real potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of my emotions and feelings, and not realize that the consequence of not changing is far greater than the momentary pain of change.

 I commit myself to remember - when the firewall comes - that it is a point of transcendence - and that there is no reason to hesitate - to trust myself in that moment and walk through it - to apply the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and self correction , and then to walk physically through what I fear/resist.