Always expecting the worst

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in a pattern of always expecting the worst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place unnecessary emphasis on the negative points that have occurred in my life - which really I have defined as negative - and to thus create a fear pattern of always expecting something 'bad' to happen, even when things are working effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to suppress the feeling that something will go wrong, instead of simply looking practically at what I have a doubt or concern about from a common sense perspective, removing the emotion from the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the point of expecting the worst stems from a point of feeling/believing that I do not deserve for myself to experience things going well and working out effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as always having to face some huge challenge or hurdle, recognizing that challenges will occur due to the nature of the system we are in, however I have made the point personal, like I deserve things to be hard and difficult and a struggle, rather than work out accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the point that things to do not work out ACCORDING to how I feel, but according to what I do and what everyone else does in relation to the point that is relevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my feeling about something is an indicator that there is a dishonesty within myself about that something or about myself in relation to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself rather avoid facing my feelings and project through imagination about what could happen, rather than sit, in self-honesty and evaluate all the details of the point I am working on, looking at what needs to be aligned, to be certain, at least as much as possible, that the point is being directed effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather hope than be certain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through fear of a feeling than be honest and do what is required in order to do or create what is best.

I commit myself to utilize my feelings as indicators of self-dishonesty, to push myself to face them and face the points that I doubt or fear and learn how to work with points directly rather than through hope, to take the time to investigate and put down all the fears, doubts concerns, feelings, etc on paper and support myself to firstly forgive those points and to then look at the point within common sense, instead of allowing imagination, feelings, and thoughts, to run rampant, unchecked and create consequences - which is really, deep down, the point that I have allowed myself to fear, and thus it is the focus on the fear that creates that which I fear - thus I stop myself from participating in the fear - and I commit myself to direct myself within it.