Demystifying Parenting

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my child is simply copying the patterns that I present as me as the living word through my actions, statement, and emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I participate in within myself, as thoughts, feelings, and emotions as reactions, judgments, projections, fears, desires, everything, is transferring to my child in the first 7 years just by them being in my presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to control my child to become a better human than I am, and that whatever methods I employ in order to control my child are justified.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am a copy of my parents.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that, unless I take self direction within a process of examining all of my own inner reactions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions to see where I am participating in patterns that are not best for all, I will be nothing more than an amalgamation of my parents, my early childhood environment, and the media/education system and that when I become a parent this will automatically transfer to the child at a speed which I will not be able to prevent consciously because my body will be communicating with my child at a level beyond my conscious awareness because conscious awareness is actually extremely slow and limited.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in order for me to produce a child that is best, I must be the best as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty that I have not done my best to become the best version of myself possible within the context of the world as it is currently and that I have made excuses as to why I must rather focus on my own survival or my own feelings as of primary importance, not realizing that it is guaranteed that I will not survive due to the obvious existence of death, and that my feelings are only temporary and by aligning myself with my feelings and emotions I am ensuring that the only legacy I will leave behind is in the form of a dysfunctional child who must then deal with the mess I left and it will in fact be harder because they will have the same justifications that I had and will have seen the example that I left of giving into the temptation to rather just go along with how things are rather than stand up, even though I knew better.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that parenting can be a real joy where one experience the unfolding of both another being as my child as well as the unfolding of a new relationship with another being as my child where I support my child as an equal and yet individual and where I receive back appreciation of the support I have given as the expression of a child who is stable within being able to use common sense and reason and always acting in a way that is best for all, which means that my child can be something that I am truly proud of as I can be proud of myself for giving my true best effort to support life in another as I would have liked Life to be supported within me from birth, and yet I must give that support to myself as well, otherwise I will not be able to support another as Life, because I cannot give what I am not willing to give myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that Jesus gave the best parenting advice in the statements that one should 'give as they want to receive' and to 'do unto another as one would want another to do unto themselves', and yet this statement as the principle of equality between parent and child is not lived in any way as parents only do to their child the abuse that was done to them, which is not what they would have liked to receive, and thus the cycles of abuse between child and parent continue in manifold, even subtle, ways that contribute to the world continuing as a system that abuses life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents without considering that they were only copies of their parents and were not aware that they could change, but I am aware and thus I am now responsible for changing me and thus I forgive my parents as myself so that I will not transfer the sins of the fathers (and mothers) onto the generations of children to come.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my children are special and more important than other children, while at the same time recognizing that I have a specific relationship and therefore responsibility to my children primarily as the one from whom my children will learn to be a human being and how to live, and yet since my children are in fact equal to all children in value, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the same excuses I have used to not do what is best for my children are what I have used to not stand up and change the system so that all parents and children are able to receive and give the best support possible.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that punishment, time outs, behavioral control, slapping, hitting, spanking, emotionally charged yelling, and withholding attention are unnecessary as a parent and do not serve to support my child as an equal to develop self awareness and self responsibility as an equal participant and co creator of reality, but instead only serve to instill fear and thus make my child more manipulable by a system based on fear and thus by using such tactics I am condemning my child to be a slave to the system who will never stand up and question anything because they will be afraid of punishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents for hitting, spanking, placing my time out,  yelling at me from an emotional starting point, and withholding attention when in fact they were copying and doing what was done unto them and they did not know that they could change, but I do and thus I am responsible to change myself, to remove the trauma, the abuse, and the fear within me so that I am no longer controlled through such tactics as an adult and so that I will not abuse my child in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that children require patience, understanding, explanation, physical presence, attention, focus, care, and support for their basic needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that when my child falls down and I react emotionally that this imprints on them and in fact supports the development of a way to seek attention in the child by prolonging crying or using crying as a way to cause me to react emotionally, and that if a child is supported properly, that when they fall down or get hurt they will only cry for the moment they are experiencing physical pain, and will learn how to calm themselves down if I remain calm and yet am there for them physically.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when my child falls down and hurts themselves that the best response is to not react emotionally, which requires prior preparation on my part to remove reactions before they come up, and to simply hold my child, allow them to cry, and ask calmly and patiently if/where the child is hurt and to then assess whether immediate medical attention is required or whether to simply be there holding the child while they process the experience, and as the child is able to calm themselves down then to ask them what happened and explain to them what happened where they were not aware so they can develop an understanding of physics, pain, consequence, and how their body functions in a common sense way, not based on fear, and not use any form of using pain to teach a lesson but rather to support my child to develop an understanding of how our physical world/bodies work.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that tools exist to develop the communication between parent and child to a level that many would not even be aware of as being possible and that the evidence that such tools work exists.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that parenting is the key to re-educating humanity and that as a parent or parent-to-be or even as just a human being who will contribute to and participate in this world, I will have to re-educate myself because I did not receive effective parenting as a child.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and corrective application are the keys to changing myself and this world into one that is best for myself and for all others including all of the children to come.

I commit myself to stand as an example of the best form of parenting even in a world of conditionality where the circumstances are less than what is best, to show that nothing can stop me from standing as what is best and therefore there is no excuse possible to continue to allow child abuse in any form whether directly or indirectly by allowing the continuing of a system that produces ineffective parents who are solely focused on survival.

I commit myself to stand as an example that I can be the best parent and I can stand in a position of changing the system to one that supports life and that I do not have to compromise myself in order to make money to survive, even though I know that a system that takes care of survival as a matter of course is best, I will show that this is not a valid excuse to not stand as what is best here and now.

I commit myself to challenge other parents when they use justification to not be the best parent possible.

I commit myself to share with other parents how I am standing as a parent, and to support wherever possible other parents to be the best possible parents they can.

I commit myself to share the tools that I use to support myself to change and to support my children to develop common sense, self awareness, effective reasoning and a reasonable character that will support all life as equal and one while also developing the ability to stand in the system in a position of change so that eventually the system will only support what is best.