Freedom to Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define free will and free choice as the freedom to do anything and/or even the freedom to abuse.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have defined free will as allowing others the right to abuse in order that I may continue to abuse others and this world in order to generate feelings and experiences within myself which I have defined as positive.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the real reason I would allow others the choice and freedom to abuse is so that I have given the right/freedom/choice to abuse even though I would not admit to others that I am abusive towards reality, as long as I have experienced positive feelings within myself I would continue to believe that I am using my free will in the best way.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within free will and free choice, exists the option to always choose what is best for everyone, including myself, and that that option exists for everyone at all times if we would each individually and collectively choose to exercise that option.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that free will and free choice are  being exercised only when some form of abuse exists, when in fact I have used this to justify my continued choice to abuse others/the environment directly/indirectly in order to 'feel good'.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am in fact addicted to feeling good and that this has become a priority within myself where I would then define all and everything that I say and do and allow in the world as long as I receive feelings that are positive within me, and I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that in order for me to continue my pattern of abusing in order to feel good, I have to allow others to do the same, and do allow others to do the same tacitly, and this creates conflict that causes me to go into conflict with others and myself which then drives within me to the feeling of negativity to which I respond by trying to feel good again, thus creating more conflict as I have to take from others and that this back and forth of conflict, of taking and taking, and sometimes being on the receiving end of 'positive' and sometimes 'negative', where some end up more on the positive mostly, and some end up on the negative mostly -  all of this I call FREE CHOICE and FREE WILL and that this just 'comes with the territory' so to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say/think that where freedom exists, evil must exist because that is the 'risk' of freedom, when in fact I am not using my freedom in a way that would create a world that is best for all and thus I have accepted and allowed a world that creates conflict and this conflict has become embedded in the very fabric of reality as layers and layers of consequences built up over time that I now use as evidence as to 'how things are' but that are only so because that is what I have allowed and continue to allow.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within the concept of free will and free choice there exists the option that everyone freely choose what is best for all and within that, no coercion or force is necessary, and yet within the current expression of free choice and free will exists the exercise by some of their free will to force and enforce their version of self interest through the money system and war and emotional and physical abuse/manipulation and through media, the education system, politics, business, etc and so I therefore allow myself to realize that the only option where no one forces another to submit to their own personal interest is the scenario where all freely choose to do what is best at all times.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that cost/price of the freedom to abuse is that we have manifested a world where everyone is addicted to the chasing of energy within their minds and the chasing of money without because we are literally controlled in every dimension of our lives/experience through energy/money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so brainwashed by my own personal self interest and have automated this acceptance so thoroughly that anyone who challenges my self interest would immediately be relegated to the category of crazy or evil and that I have within this thoroughly convinced myself that I am already free when in fact I experience the negative consequence of everyone's exercise of 'freedom' to abuse in virtually every moment of my life experience here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to delude myself into thinking that if I and others are doing what is best, that this necessarily implies that we are being forced to do so and that such a world would have to exist as a totalitarian state, not realizing that a totalitarian state is the expression of a world state where there is ultimate restriction of freedom DUE TO the current accepted nature of humans as ABUSERS, and that if ALL were truly choosing what is best then logically there would be no one running such a totalitarian state.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the reason I fear a world where everyone chooses what is best all the time, freely, is that I then wouldn't be able to abuse, and I know that I wouldn't exist as I currently am in such a world and therefore I am actually just experiencing a fear of loss, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the ability to abuse, when in fact I am not losing anything, because exercising the right to abuse in any way whatsoever automatically places everyone and everything into the position of a loser, and that as long as losing exists and abuse exists in any form, no one can really be a winner, and the only way for anyone to win is when everyone wins and that can only happen when all freely choose to only do what is best.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to really sit and consider what would a will that is completely free actually do with their freedom - would they ever abuse or allow another to abuse? I allow myself to realize that they would in fact only do what is best for all at all times.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my ability to reason effectively has been damaged/dumbed down/slowed down/limited by myself in fact through the consequences of what I have allowed on earth and I am in fact facing myself as my own creation which I have projected as 'out there' but is in fact the external manifestation of what is going on within me 24/7.

I forgive myself that I haven't realize that my resistance to changing within myself as who I am so that I will always choose what is best is the only evidence I need to see that I am not in fact free within who I am currently and yet I can change that if I forgive myself and apply myself within what is best, and thus free will and free choice is not a mysterious condition that gives me freedom magically, it is in fact an act of my will that I can either choose to exercise or not, and thus the only context currently where I am in fact free is within the FREEDOM TO CHANGE myself to be best for all in all ways always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible to get everyone to choose what is best for all freely and that this would imply some sort of control and that I have resigned myself to believing that things will always be this way and so I might as well just continue with how I am and not go through the process of changing myself to always act within what is best as it is not worth the effort, when in fact it is a step by step process and that if I were to sit down and look at how, I could find a solution.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the solution to everyone choosing what is best freely at all times starts with how children are educated and thus how parents are trained to educate their children and thus it is possible to create a world that is best for all through working with parenting and education as well as adjusting the money system to remove survival pressures that prevent parents from having the ability to really give their children the best education possible and to change themselves to be able to do so.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize and accept that the tools of self change exist and that I must simply apply them and as I do it will become more and more obvious how to change this world, but I must first start with myself.

I commit myself to expose, investigate, and correct - through writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application - the ways in which I am exercising my freedom of choice to choose what is less than best and how I am allowing systems that influence myself and others and children to choose what is less than best and I commit myself to show, as a living example, that is is possible to remove these choices within myself as options and that it is possible to walk a process to remove choices from one's list of acceptable choices when they are not best and therefore only do what is best.

I commit myself to eradicate everyone point within me that argues, justifies, or in any way supports any choice that is less than best, and I realize that within this, is the ultimate, absolute expression/act of freedom because only through this will I ever be able to exist within a world that is best, and that such a world will in fact be an expression of who I am within, and this I will be giving to myself that which I truly wish to receive.

I commit myself to standing as a living example of how to support a child to develop common sense and reasoning and the clarity of vision to always choose what is best freely in each moment and I commit myself to show parents how to do the same as well as how to change themselves just as I am changing me so that I am a living example to my child and to others.