Perception is Not Reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the perception is reality.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that it is basic common sense that perception is not reality, because my perceptions are based on information that is processed in my body as stimulus from my environment and/or from within my body as physical/chemical processes that when processed by the body stimulate the mind to produce a picture/feeling/thought/sensation/emotion that I then experience in/within/as my mind and therefore, clearly there is a physical reality that exists outside of my perception and that I am thus filtering information from the environment, through my mind, based on the information programmed into my body and the meanings that I have with regards to certain words and how I have defined my relationship towards the experience of energy within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the statement that reality is perception or perception is reality is a justification for myself and others to exist as the mind, as experience, only and not as something real, physical, here in actual reality, and that through this acceptance I create little bubbles as my own individual 'reality' which is really just imaginary, by definition, and thus I am not real, and I am not really here in reality in full awareness, I am really just watching a movie while reality moves around me and as me without my full participation, because I have abdicated my self responsibility to direct physical reality to automated systems that are based on the continued existence of myself and others as being able to continue watching the movie in my head which I call my 'perception' and I call my 'reality' but it is not in fact any more real than a movie on my laptop or in a movie theater is real, because the moment the electricity turns off, the movie stops, and so the moment that my body dies, my perceptions stop.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that perceptions can easily be manipulated from the outside if one knows how to stimulate the body to produce a certain affect and that this is how all brainwashing is done through media, education, politics, advertising, etc and that if I continue to accept reality as only existing in my perception, then I am leaving myself open to be manipulated because I am not directing the physical environment outside of my mind as one and equal, it is being directed by a money system that only wants me to remain as a consumer to continue the existence of the money system, and I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I have actually been ok with this because up until now I have only interested in watching the movie in my head and entertaining myself with the movie I call 'my happiness'.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have not directly created my reality in a way that is best because I have allowed to become only an observer of my perceptions and that I programmed my perceptions primarily in the first 7 years of my life through my natural learning ability absorbing/integrating/copying the patterns of those in my environment and through education and media and advertising and now I am simply watching the result of preprogrammed, automated perceptions running as programs within my mind based on stimulation from my environment.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see the common sense that reality is what is physically here, and that my perceptual ability is extremely limited and thus if I define my reality as perception, I have effectively cut myself off from a vast universe and that my mind/perception is like watching a movie about someone on an adventure rather than going on an adventure, but I have convinced myself that as long as I FEEL like I went on an adventure, then that is the same thing, which indicates that I am not in fact ALIVE, but just a program that observes the content of memories, I am no more alive, as how I have defined myself, as a computer screen is alive, which simply displays the contents of the computer's memory based on input (external stimulation) received through the keyboard, for instance.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am not here, directing physical reality as what is best but, instead sitting back allowing the continued existence of an automated system  that just generates predictable experiences for myself and everyone else, specifically those that are not best - because those are creating friction within the environment and within myself which then creates a fear point, specifically around survival, so that the constant focus of my attention is on survival, and even my pursuit of happiness is just an attempt to try and create a new movie in my head that seems to be better but is really just like trying to switch the channel after watching a scary movie, the 'happiness movie' is not really that great but it seems to help me forget about the scary movie, and so I create a positive called 'happiness' which takes my mind off of the negative called 'survival' and yet because I am not directing reality, physically, in a way that is best, the scary movie as 'surivival' always comes back into my perceptions, because as I have realized, it is the physical reality that DETERMINES my perceptions.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the fact that I constantly have to focus on positivity and feeling good otherwise I will feel bad or negative is an indicator that the physical reality is constantly stimulating me in a negative way and thus I have not been able to automate an effective positive experience that I can just feel naturally all the time, never questioning why I feel the need to do so in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I were to turn off the movie, I could see what is really here physically and then direct in a way where life is always positive, but it would be positive in a way that far beyond and transcending every idea I have of positive, because every idea I have as positive is really just the avoidance of negative, not an actual expression of me here as life physically, and that if I continue to exist only as my perception as my feelings, thoughts, and emotions, that I will never know what true positivity really is, because I will never be able to create it, because real creation happens in the physical, not the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the mind is a tool, a technology, a machine, not me in fact, it is not alive, and because I have, through my directive will, identified and defined myself as the mind only, I am not alive, and I am just a machine, and that if I do not stop, I will never be REAL.

I commit myself to stop living only as my mind as perceptions of feelings, thoughts, and emotions, and get to know physical reality - through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective action - to see where I have abdicated my full participation in reality by identifying repeating patterns of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that come up automatically towards an event or person or situation.

I commit myself to really question my starting point within who I am, what I am doing here, how I am interacting with others, to identify where I am really just looking to experience a feeling or emotion or how a thought automatically comes up which when followed and participated in generates a feeling or emotion and thus within this I can begin identifying how I have constructed a movie that I live in instead being here, directing what is here, creating a new world that is best for all.