The Excuse Within Expectation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that as a being, nothing can actually hurt me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that another's words cannot actually hurt me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent to which I am controlled within what I do or don't do based on the experience of fear or the fear of experiencing fear within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is anything that another can do that I cannot do, when in reality the other is actually me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on the energetic experience of feeling bad and feeling good and feeling neutral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pressure around my eyes, in my chest, in my stomach and to then accept this pressure as feeling as something that directs me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to face how weak I have allowed myself to be within allowing myself to be directed by an energy experience within me, not realizing that who I really am is the principle which makes even the energy experience possible, so how can an energy experience really affect me if I do not accept it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and become angry within myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by emotions and feelings, when in fact doing so is still accepting and allowing myself to be directed by such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in feeling frustrated when things to do move as quickly as I want them to, when this happens because I have created an expectation within myself that something should happen and imbued this expectation with energy and I haven't really done my due diligence to see what is actually required and what it will take for what I would like to happen to in fact happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from that which I want to happen and thus not allow myself to really see clearly what is required to make it happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the energy of despondence when something doesn't happen as quickly as I would like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in expectation of others and myself, instead of focusing on that which is required to be done that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use feeling frustrated as an excuse to participate in the mind as feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to second guess my actions based on feeling bad, without first checking where the 'negative' feeling is coming from within me and to instead base my assessment of my actions on common sense and measuring the physical result.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger instead of breathing and being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in feeling afraid instead of being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control others in order to suppress my fear and anger, instead of breathing, and bringing the energy back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that things need to move quickly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a pressure for me to get something done, when that is a feeling that my body is generating based on how I have accepted and allowed it to be programmed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am able to direct myself and others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word patience and not realize that patience is simply letting go of expectation and supporting/directing what is required in the moment in a way that is best for all.

I commit myself to when the feeling of frustration about how things are moving comes up within me, to breathe, to let it go, to realize that this is a program and to once I am stable within breathing, look at what points I am not taking self-responsibility for that require direction.

I commit myself to push beyond all excuses to participate in the mind and learn what it means to live here physically without desire, without want, without feelings that direct me, but to direct myself as what is best.

I commit myself to never give up on myself, to stand up no matter how many times I fall into the mind, into energy, to get back up more quickly, to eventually never fall and remain here, stable, and support/direct the creation of a system that is best for all life, so that eventually every child born will not have to go through what I have had to go through, and instead can live Life fully without any fear.

The I Want It Now Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character that wants something now and is not happy until I get it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the character of 'I want it now'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember how I created the 'I want it now' character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a moment where I see or hear about or become aware of something that activates a feeling of desire for that thing, that I immediately activate and participate in the 'I want it now' character, as thinking about the thing that I want, talking about the thing that I want, begging another who I think may be able to get it for me, and obsessing over the thing in my mind by imagining myself with it and all of the ways in which I will feel good if I have it, and using that as motivation to continue thinking about it and finding a way to get it as soon as possible, if not NOW, and also thinking about how I feel without it, which is negative, empty, yearning, unhappy, and using this negative energy to manipulate myself and others to support me within getting, having, obtaining, manifesting the thing as soon as possible, if not NOW.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that whether I have the thing that I desire or not, I am Here and even when I get it, I will not be happy or satisfied REALLY, as all I will experience is the temporary satisfaction of the desire, but this will lead to a new desire which will cause me to go into the same pattern as now the 'I want it now' character has even more energy and experiences as memories to draw on and an even stronger will to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from physical reality and to go into a fantasy in my imagination about having/possessing something that I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I chase a desire, all I am doing is attempting to satisfy a character that is nothing more than a construct of information within me that requires energy to 'feel alive' and thus I am using and abusing the real life that I have been given, this physical body and this physical reality, in order to make an imaginary being feel alive, when in fact it is just me playing a game, playing a character, believing that it is me, when it is not me in fact, but it is to the degree that this is all I am in that moment of playing that character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent to which I interact with others just to satisfy the demand for energy of a character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this reality in order to support the existence of something that is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that because I participate in this support of a character that is not real, which requires energy to exist, I am also supporting the existence of a world character as the money system which is not real and thus requires energy to exist that feeds off of the real earth and real humans, plants, and animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself as what I really am which is physical reality and to thus abuse myself and hurt myself through ignoring physical reality to create, support, and live out illusions as characters which can never last, meanwhile destroying that which is real until there is nothing left.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'there must be something more'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the thought of 'there must be something more' participate in the creation of separation which leads to conflict, which leads to negative energy formation which leads to positive energy experience which leads to confirmation (incorrectly) in my mind that there is something more, when in fact there was only ever Me Here and I am simply abusing myself in order to experience something more, and I am thus ignoring the opportunity to explore and discover what is MORE as Here not in separation but within Oneness and Equality with what is Here and so find out how to create within what is Here without destroying and abusing what is Here, as what is Here is ultimately of REAL value and what is MORE is an illusion when it is created in the context of separation from what is Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel irritated with myself and others especially when I do not get what I want immediately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so angry when I don't get what I want that I even strain myself and pass out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself only see my parents and others as a means to getting what I want or as an obstacle to getting what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that from the moment of separation within searching for More than what is Here, that I have never been Here, but only lost in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have created reality into a real illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear just being Here not needing anything or wanting anything but being satisfied with just being Here as Who I Am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of what is Here and to only focus on attaining and obtaining something More.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want to be There instead of Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that There is an illusion in separation of Here.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserve to be punished for who I am and what I have become, which in itself is a desire for experience rather than being Here, it is still within the context of playing the energy game and way to excuse myself through 'paying the price' to continue with the game of searching for the satisfaction of my desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my son for wanting something when I am the one who taught him, through example, and through passing on my memories, that something more is required to be satisfied with oneself, which is an illusion that can never be true in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am holding something that I got, and wanting something more, that this shows me that the something more will never lead to REAL self satisfaction because I am not satisfied within myself with what I already have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be motivated by the desire for ME to have something and not care that so many go without their basic needs in this world and that I have blinded myself to this truth of reality through focusing on an illusion in my mind and participating in a character that doesn't care about anything except the pursuit of desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become less than a character in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let Life become less than a system.

I commit myself to stop participation in the character of 'I want it now' - to look at what is required for me to exist here, practically, and to continue existing within the context of supporting myself to do what is best at all times, to stop measuring my life by what I can get as the satisfaction of a desire and instead measure my life by how and what I can do to support what is best for all - which in the current context of the world is to change the system to so that it supports everyone equally to have what they require to express their full potential as Life.

I commit myself to support my children as Equal to and One with myself to stop the creation and participation in the character of 'I want it now' and the character of 'I only care about my own desires'.

I commit myself to show that the desires of a character that is not real, which is based on energy, can never be fulfilled, as the starting point of the character is not actually to be satisfied with what is Here but to always get more, because getting more means the survival of the character, but the character can never be real, because it isn't in the first place, and thus for it to survive means to use, abuse, and consume physical reality to convert into energy just for the character to 'feel alive'.