A Parasite to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am equal to what I accept and allow to exist in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am equal to what I accept as the belief that only my experience is real and valuable, in the face of reality being such that each one is not able to experience themselves in the best way, and thus I am within that equal to IGNORING the suffering of others while at the same time contributing to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be equal to concern only for my own survival and experience of positive energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only value others in how they are able to contribute to my personal experience of positive energy, and that I would disregard those that either do not contribute to it directly or who would in some way diminish, and thus those who suffer in this world through an unequal money system, would have no value in my mind because they only serve to make me feel sad or bad and thus do not contribute to my positive energy experience, and thus within that I would be equal to ignoring how I really feel about reality and thus I have been equal to DENIAL of what is really going on within me and without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value family and friend only in the context of how they would contribute to my feelings of happiness and positive energy experience, and thus not valuing the equal and one life that they have been given equal and one to what I have been given.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am not IN FACT equal to what I FOCUS ON or PAY ATTENTION TO, but to what I accept and allow to IN FACT EXIST within the reality of which I am a part.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that each one is in their own reality of their own design and creation, despite the evidence even in my own experience that I am in a reality which requires the coordination and cooperation of others to produce that which my body requires as food, for example, and that this food is only produced by those who do so in order to get money to buy the other things that are required for them to exist, and thus each one is only cooperating in order to stabilize the existence of MY reality through the fear of not surviving, and I am in the same way contributing to everyone else's reality through the same fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on creating a DREAM experience which is a total waste of the Gift of Life that I have been given.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the DREAM experience of having lots of wonderful toys and products and vacations is a DREAM PROGRAM that has been installed into me from a young age and that the DESIRE that motivates my yearning and striving for the dream is simply the program of survival that exists as my mind to stimulate me to seek new sources of energy for the Mind to continue to exist, and thus I am not living MY DREAM in fact, but rather FOLLOWING a DREAM PROGRAM that is a FALSE IMAGE designed by a PARASITE just to KEEP ME ENSLAVED to using my physical body and the physical world to continue the energetic existence of a ILLUSIONARY PROGRAM that does not in fact physically exist which is why it requires constant feeding of energy for it to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have been equal to the slave to a parasite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize that if I am allowing myself to be the slave of a parasite and do the bidding of a parasite to Life then I am EQUAL TO A PARASITE TO LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be EQUAL TO A PARASITE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase and follow a DREAM.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to DESIRE EXPERIENCE instead of focusing on how to express myself in the best way possible in order to create a world that is BEST FOR ALL and that as a metaphor, this is the only 'dream' appropriate to one who is Equal to Life and thus if I am to not squander the GIFT that I have been given then I must be EQUAL to the GIFT which is to say that I must accept myself not as a PARASITE TO LIFE but AS LIFE ITSELF and thus LIVE and ACT equal to and one with Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that due to chasing a dream, I have allowed myself to fuel the existence of an unequal money system which has become a parasite on this planet which completely disregards life and destroys everything in SIGHT in order to continue its own survival only, ignoring the fact that this CANNOT last forever, and thus our end as a human race is certain unless we STOP.

I commit myself to uncover and REMOVE each and every point where I am accepting and allowing myself to be less than EQUAL to Life.

I commit myself to give up the DREAM, to dismantle it, to establish myself Here in physical reality facing what is really here and be/become/stand equal to what is here and direct it as myself and to test all points where a feeling comes up to direct me, to ensure that I am Here in fact and not chasing/following a dream/desire that would not create a world that is best for all.

now i LIE me down to sleep

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that the statement: "don't challenge my beliefs, because I have the right to my beliefs and so you have the right to yours," is a statement with no substance or validity, that it contradicts itself and is in fact not self honest, as the starting point is not about allowing other to have their own beliefs, it is only about self not questioning self's beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that all of my beliefs were formed primarily in the beginning of my life in the womb and as a child and copied from my parents, passed down in my DNA as well as programmed into me through my environment, including school and the media as news and entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on use the excuse that I believe what I believe because I want to as a statement of refusal to examine by beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to fully examine the nature of my beliefs and consider what the consequence of my beliefs are in how they would form my thoughts, feelings, and emotions and how that would affect my behavior and participation in the world and how it would also influence what I accept and allow in the world as systems and behavior of others, where I will not even say anything when I see something that is clearly unacceptable as what is not best for all because then I would have to experience the pain and discomfort of the energy and emotion that I have associated with my belief being lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear examining a belief that I hold because I know deep down that if I do so, it will lead to a cascade of other beliefs being questioned within myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to have the courage to examine my beliefs and face the discomfort that might come with doing so, opting to instead feel 'safe' which is in fact an illusion, because I am only 'safe' as long as my beliefs are not being challenged, and yet the world around me is full of people who hold beliefs different to mine and so in order to 'feel' safe I have to create a bubble of protection around me to keep other people's beliefs and words from causing me to question my beliefs so that I do not feel comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only question a belief when something tragic or extremely physically or emotionally painful occurs in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in moments where I am not experiencing pain or tragic circumstances to justify why the pain or tragic moments I have experienced were necessary for me to feel good now as contrast, and thus I form beliefs that justify such experiences and that justify such types of experiences of others, even though in most cases the experiences that others have that are tragic and extremely painful are preventable and for those people they never experience the contrast of happiness because of their position in the world system in which I participate and accept and allow while holding on to my belief and justifying the way the world is through not being willing to challenge my belief and understand how it leads to the world being the way it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell another person that they can believe whatever they want but they are not allowed to challenge my belief, which is a form of controlling other's behavior which would be an outflow of their belief, but not be willing to look at the outflows of my beliefs and how they have in fact contributed to creating a world where people are now challenging my belief, and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am, through my words, stating that I do not give as I want to receive, however I am in fact receiving as I have given.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label anyone who challenges my belief through their words or actions, or calls my beliefs into question, or makes a direct statement that my beliefs are false as someone who is dark, or having evil intentions, when in fact I am afraid of the dark, and this fear within me is the real evil because it is from this starting point of fear that I am not willing to challenge my beliefs for fear that I will lose something, and from this starting point of fear of loss I have accepted in direct and indirect ways a world that is a reflection of my fear of loss, where I constantly lose throughout my life, and where others constantly lose throughout their life, and where even when I lose I will not stand up within myself and question what I am doing because I still fear to lose more, and yet I never learn the lesson that it is the fear of loss that is creating the loss, and that if I were to give instead of fear, and each were to do so, that this world would in fact be the paradise that I believe I will enter when I die.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that what I experience when I die is not a matter of what I believe in here on earth, in so far as if my belief separates me from what is real here, then I am not in fact real and that therefore at death I would no longer exist because I have not allowed myself to be real, I have separated myself from physical reality, through participation in belief, and not even ever been here. I have in fact ignored what is here, despite the many warning signs that I receive throughout life that there is an inconsistency with my belief and what is here, and that my belief is producing the living conditions here on earth either directly and/or indirectly and that if that is my starting point, that I would not live here for real, then why would what I experience after death be any different?

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that my beliefs are a way in which I shield/veil/protect myself from self responsibility, because if there is something greater than me, then I am relieved of responsibility for the way the world is and/or what happens to me when I die, thus, my belief is not a certainty, but rather a hope and wish, and a form of magical thinking, because I cannot sit and work out with common sense and basic math that what I believe is in fact true and will produce the result I believe it will, and the energy I experience when challenged is a defense mechanism I have created as my ego to protect me from fully seeing/realizing that I am not in fact certain about what I believe and that I am therefore not certain whether the result my belief apparently guarantees me is certain.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I were absolutely certain within what I believe I would feel no need to defend my belief when challenged, I would explain clearly how my belief leads to the outcome I believe it will lead to, but instead I will request that others not challenge my believe which is an indication that I am not certain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist questioning and removing beliefs because I think that i would look foolish for having accepted something without question when in fact I would be doing what few are willing to do currently and it would be an act of extreme bravery and intelligence to examine a belief, not knowing what the outcome will be, but dedicated to the truth of what my belief implies, and that it would be an act of teachability to be able to change a belief within myself, even if I have held it without question for years and years, and that it would show that I am a being of great strength and dedication to what is best, as that is what I would be doing in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist questioning and removing beliefs because I think that i would look foolish for having accepted something without question when in fact I would be doing what few are willing to do currently and it would be an act of extreme bravery and intelligence to examine a belief, not knowing what the outcome will be, but dedicated to the truth of what my belief implies, and that it would be an act of teachability to be able to change a belief within myself, even if I have held it without question for years and years, and that it would show that I am a being of great strength and dedication to what is best, as that is what I would be doing in fact.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that Belief implies doubt and that the discomfort I feel when my belief is challenged is in fact doubt resonating throughout my body, and that by asking others to not challenge my beliefs it shows that I am more interested in suppressing doubt than seeking truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of energy as doubt and that I haven't allowed myself to realize that if I do not face and remove all doubt from within me, the consequence will be that I face the result of not knowing reality directly and therefore I will cease to exist at death because I was not real.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see/recognize that the word "lie" exists in the middle of the word "belief" and that this should have been a warning to me to question my beliefs, and I have never allowed allowed myself to realize that I have used beliefs to LIE to myself, as I was taught to believe in lies from a young age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry towards those who have told me lies that I believed in which turned out not to be true and wherein I felt pain, let down, lied to, and became fearful of questioning any other beliefs so as not to feel the pain of having lied to/been lied to and have to face the possibility that everything I believe is in fact a lie, when I clearly see deep down that I do not in fact know anything for certain and that therefore the basis of my entire existence is a lie.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to deliberately perpetuate lies to children such as santa clause and the tooth fairy in order control their behavior instead of explaining to them how reality works so they can learn how to reason properly and never have to suffer the consequences of believing something that is not true and only finding out later when it is too late.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my beliefs were GIVEN to me by others in order to control my behavior and that I am in fact a slave to my beliefs, and that even when someone would come along to point out that I am a slave, I would put the chains back on my feet and hands and neck so that I would not have to feel the fear I have towards not having someone else in control of my behavior and destiny.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to accept 100 percent responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my beliefs are in fact ways I use to suppress my fear of death and the feeling of uncertainty that comes up when I consider the fact that I die, and that I have constructed a complex set of beliefs that promise me something that makes me, personally, feel secure about existing and dying.

I commit myself to not allow a feeling of anger, fear, frustration, sadness, or any other emotion to stand in the way of me examining my beliefs fully.

I commit myself to examining my beliefs and when I feel a moment of being challenged withing something I think/feel/believe to be true, that I will use that opportunity to first examine what I believe until I am certain, within self honesty that what I held as true is in fact true, and where I see it would be supportive, I commit myself to explaining as clearly as possible to others how I have arrived at the conclusion that I have so that they may be able to see/learn/understand how to examine their own beliefs and ideas they hold as true and learn to reason effectively.

I commit myself to standing as the one who challenges what others believe as I am doing the same for myself, to support myself and others as myself to remove all that which is uncertain, to support myself and others to become certain within what is really Here a this physical world and how we have shaped it through our beliefs and to align what we accept and allow within ourselves to only ever produce what is best for all in every moment.

I commit myself to taking 100 percent responsibility, step by step, moment by moment, for what I do, think, feel, and believe and remove all parts of myself and my behavior that do not serve me as all as what is best for all Life.

Bound by Beliefs and Chained to Opinions

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that it is possible to understand/be aware of the consequences of every thought, feeling, emotion, and action that I participate in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that it's not possible to know every outflow of everything I do/participate in and that every thing has a positive and a negative anyway, so there is no reason to investigate what I think, feel, and do and the effect that that has on my reality and others and how that shapes the physical existence that I and others are within and manifests consequences that we all have to face at some point.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider that if I were to take the time to stop and really be honest with myself about a specific thought, feeling, or action that I participate in and used common sense and considered each point carefully and fully that I could begin to identify the ways in which my thoughts, feelings, and actions play out in the world and affect myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually not really care about the consequences of my thoughts, feelings, and actions as to how they actually play out and manifest in the world, and that instead of taking the time to really investigate and consider step-by-step in detail how my thoughts feelings, and actions are playing out and manifesting, I have invested my limited time on earth in creating and participating in beliefs and ideas that generate feelings and thoughts and from which I act that justify to myself that there are no real consequences for my thoughts, feelings, and actions, even though this is not a common sense, reasonable conclusion that I have worked out in detail, because I have already made the statement/commitment within myself that I will not fully investigate anything I believe or think or feel, and thus when the consequences of my thoughts, feelings, and actions do manifest in my awareness/reality, I have a readymade answer as to why I am experiencing myself in a less than optimal way and I use this excuse to justify why others experience themselves in a less than optimal way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that "education" exists in any form within the systems that I have accepted and allowed to exist and participate in and place my children and allowed others to place their children within, without realizing/allowing myself to even consider that the "education systems" that currently exist only exist within the starting point of turning human beings into consumers of energy/workers within the money system and thus the essence of all education promoted within the system currently is to in fact dumb a human down from their full potential to the point where they believe it is not even possible to know/understand/trace/consider/see/realize the consequences of their thoughts/feelings/actions and yet will believe they are educated and therefore have the ability to reason, even though the evidence is clear they aren't and don't, and therefore trust their fault reasoning ability to come to the conclusion that it is not possible to know the consequences of what one participates within in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in cynicism and apathy towards investigating how my actions create consequences that are less than optimal for myself and everyone else in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within a belief within myself that I have broken out of the matrix, that I am an 'out of the box thinker' or that I am somehow not affected or am above the problems that I see in this world and I have even projected them on to everyone else so as not to seriously examine/consider how I am in fact contributing to these problems in every moment, in every breath, with every thought, feeling, emotion, and action that I participate in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that each individual person is choosing to either be evil or good when in fact I have not actually defined what evil and good are and I would even justify that they are defined individually and thus within that have defeated the entire point of having such a standard as evil and good, because I am not willing to apply it absolutely with others or myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not fully investigating my own beliefs, ideas, and opinions by the statement "everyone has a right to their opinion".

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the statement "everyone has a right to their opinion" is actually a way of giving myself and excuse to not investigate what I believe and what I would argue or hold to as an opinion when my belief/opinion is challenged, even though I am ready at a moment's notice to try and prove someone else's opinion as invalid/wrong/flawed, and yet the moment I feel any form of cognitive dissonance or inability to argue my opinion effectively or being to see/realize/suspect that my belief is not reasonable or fully considered, instead of stopping and taking the time and effort and discipline to examine my belief/opinion and what it actually implies and how the outflows of such a belief/opinion would affect others and myself, I will instead revert to the statement "everyone has a right to their opinion" which is actually saying "everyone has a right to be stupid and no consider how they affect themselves and others in reality".

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have within myself placed utmost value and importance on the 'right to an opinion' and would defend it with all my vigor and energy, and yet I would place very little or no value on 'the right to life' and the 'right to basic necessities' for all humans and animals and plants and all Life in this world, and that this would indicate that I am actually just arguing for the continued existence of myself and everyone/everything else on earth to remain bound and enslaved to a system that placed value only on self interest, money, and quality of life for the very few, and that it is the opinion of some that even I have no right to life when it interferes with their comfort and I have blinded myself to this fact through the veil of the statement "everyone has a right to their opinion" and accordingly I will be given and am begin given as I have and am giving, which implies that I will be a slave in this system until I die and I will have done it to myself and having not done anything to stop this continued enslavement of myself and everyone else to the whim of opinion, I will judge myself accordingly at the end of my life.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that everyone is doing the same as me, holding on to and acting from their opinions and not considering the consequences doing so, and therefore the excuse that it is not possible to understand all the consequences of every action or thought or belief that I have is not valid, because it only seems impossible due to the fact that EVERYONE is participating in such a belief and NO ONE is taking responsibility for themselves and their starting point within how they participate in this world, and the fact that I am one of those people, doing the same thing, implies that I AM THE PROBLEM, and that it is a reflection of WHO I AM whether I would be willing to investigate my participation in this world and how it is influenced by my beliefs and opinions, and within that I allow myself to realize that regardless of what everyone else is doing, thoroughly investigating my opinions and attempting to understand how they cause consequences in this world is the best thing to do, and as I do so, it will serve as an example to others, and now that I am aware of the possibility of doing so, I am in fact now responsible for doing so, and I know within self honesty that this is the best thing to do, even if it takes up a lot of time and focus, because everything else I am preoccupied with is simply concern for survival and this concern for survival is a consequence of everyone, including me, not taking full responsibility for every thought, feeling, and action within which I participate, and if I take responsibility and others do so as well, we could provide for each other's survival quite effectively so that it doesn't require much focus, especially compared to the level of focus that it requires now, because we could, instead of defending our individual opinions actually sit down and work out what would be best, though that will never be possible if I don't do this for myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the way to understand how my thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, and actions create consequences in this world is to examine my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and beliefs that come up within my mind and question their starting point, to question, why I have them, and to ask myself, in self honesty, if everyone were to have this thought, would it produce an optimal or less than optimal way of living, and to ask myself if I would be willing to trade places within anyone else in a world where everyone accepts this thought, feeling or belief, and to simply be honest with myself and see where my investigation leads me, and within this I forgive myself that I have stopped myself short from really investigating by assuming that I won't be able to work out how my thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and actions produce less than optimal consequences for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that questioning my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, emotions, actions, would restrict my freedom, when in fact it would allow me the opportunity to stop any and all thoughts, feelings, beliefs, emotions, and actions that are producing less than optimal consequences in reality that would in fact restrict my freedom as an individual, because optimal freedom is that which only produces optimal outcomes and this is something I can work out and understand if I use common sense and I am self honest and I discipline myself within investigating everything as far as I can and to educate myself when I see that I am limited within investigating further due to a limited vocabulary/education/knowledge/understanding, and within this I realize that this is the REAL purpose of education, to produce a human being who is able to reason effectively and understand fully how this reality operates and how we affect each other physically in reality.

I commit myself to investigate my opinions and beliefs one by one, step by step, fully to the point where I am satisfied within myself in self honesty that I know/see/realize the full consequence of an opinion or belief that I hold within me and where I find that such belief or opinion produces any outcome or consequence that is not best for all, to apply self forgiveness and deconstruct such belief or opinion until I am able to see for myself that it is not something that I am willing to accept or allow within myself or another and so release it as a pattern within myself that would dictate my participation in this world in any way whatsoever.

The Solution to the "Race War"

Our DNA is so mixed up and recombined there is no "pure race" and never will be. The solution does not lie in going backwards. It lies in moving forward by recognizing what we have in common and by valuing all life equally. Brainwashing prevents this. Thus only through REAL education will we solve the chaos in the world FOR REAL.

Race, Division, Competition, Survival

In reference to the recent video of several black teens abusing a white "special needs" man:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/latest-police-race-motive-video-attack-44570046

"Police believe the victim was targeted because he has "special needs," not because of his race."

I don't have all the facts, so I am not in a position to know what exactly happened other than what one can see on the actual video which is online, but if the tables were turned, and this were 4 white people beating a black guy and making him drink out of the toilet and yelling "F*** Obama" isn't it obvious that the media would jump on it as racially motivated?

What is sad is that there is a definite attempt to divide people by race in this country by those in positions to benefit form chaos and fear.

When will we come together as humans and learn to live in harmony? 

Its easy, though perhaps intellectually lazy, to just blame the people committing the act, and while it is important that we do not deny others' responsibility for their choices and actions, we must at the same time look at the total environment and how it plays a role in shaping the choices that people make. It is rare that we as individuals make choices in a vacuum. There are rarely any completely free choices, totally unencumbered by past experience, memory, education, upbringing, beliefs, etc. The danger, that those on the political right would fear is that this line of reasoning would excuse the 'bad' behavior of those who do harm to others. On the other hand, though, the left would fear that we would unnecessarily punish those who 'know not what they do' and have been influenced 'unfairly' by "systems beyond their control," as Frank Zappa put it.

I was listening to Stefan Molyneux yesterday and he brought up a point about not taking pride in one's gifts. For example, pride in one's inherited intelligence is a false pride because one did not 'earn' it so to speak through applied effort. It came naturally through no fault of one's own. He said rather that, speaking of his own intelligence, he sees it more as a responsibility to use to the benefit of the world, as a servant, so to speak.

Where do we draw the line in terms of our individual responsibility to the collective. We understand the danger of putting the needs of the abstract collective above the needs of an individual, especially when the benefit is only seen in the abstract collective but nowhere individually. 

Take someone like Warren Buffet, who self admits that he has a higher genetic propensity to compete in a 'capitalist' system. Does he have a responsibility to only use that gift for the benefit of all and should he suppress his ability where it might benefit him at the cost of others? If we live in a system that has no physical restraints against this then shall we leave it up to the individual to make the moral choice to use both their gifts and developed abilities in a way that benefits everyone (or at least harms no one.) The question, though, is whether in a completely free system, where even from birth there is no coercion and all of one's needs are met whether one would develop any desire to do anything that would harm anyone (at least not intentionally).

Is it possible for us to see ourselves as individuals but also as an integral part of the collective and to place the interests of both equally? I don't think that this is something we can 'enforce.' Meaning, we are not going to create a utopia where there is an enforcement of equality amongst all where each one benefits to the maximum extent possible. Because, as humans, if we are not engaged in creating our own happiness then what are we doing? Isn't our happiness intrinsically linked to our engagement with reality? If we are merely following government mandated prescriptions that are designed to keep us in line so as not to harm anyone then can we be happy? It seems to me that it must be by our own choice that we do no harm. It must be by our own choice that we seek to provide value or benefit to others or even to ourselves. The question then is why is this not happening already? Why is our system such that it reinforces a mindset that only seeks to put one's own survival first, all the while believing that one is self-sacrificing for the common good. And those who reject any form of morality and are the most competitive seem to come out on top. Is this an accident of nature? Is it just that we haven't evolved enough? Is it just that we haven't learned our lesson as of yet? Is it by design? If so, who is designing the system?

Is not the system a reflection of the collective? Could a totalitarian system exist made of individuals who accepted nothing less than self-direction?

What are your thoughts?